I’m always yakking about this elusive bucket of diamonds that I’m looking for. And while it sounds very appealing, I feel like I should clarify why I want a bucket of diamonds for all you cynics out there. I have my reasons, and I feel as if they’re pretty darn good ones.

1) It’s the ultimate status symbol. Anyone can buy a luxury car or a mansion, but a bucket of diamonds? That doesn’t seem so easy to come by, now does it? I’ll know I’ve made it when I have a bucket of diamonds sitting on my dresser.

2) I’ll know it’s love. Everyone buys their significant other a ring. Think of how many rings are sold every day in the world. And then think of how many of those rings end up at the local pawn shop after a fiery divorce. Rings are sub-par. I’ll know it’s serious when loverboy shows up with a bucket of shiny rocks.

3) I’d dazzle the world. I won’t be selfish with my bucket. Think of the things I could accomplish with all those diamonds just sitting around at my disposal. There are so many situations where a fat rock could come in handy. My good friend goes through a break-up? Here, have a diamond. It’ll make you feel better. A relative has surgery? Nothing says, “get well soon” like a sparkling hunk of carbon. Graduation gift? Who needs money for college when they could have a diamond?

As a joke, the folks at my office got me a bucket of fake diamonds to sit on my desk at work. It’s more of a reminder than anything. Last week, a coworker brought their 4-year-old daughter into the office and she became enamored with my bucket of diamonds. And just like I’ve always promised I’d do, I shared one with her. And then I apologized to her mother profusely for helping promote a life of unrealistic expectations and materialism. But hey, start ‘em young.

Oh, and PS: I would totally buy this car. There’s definitely a buckets worth of rocks covering this bad boy. And apparently those really are diamonds.

And PPS: Now that you've finished reading this, you should head over to Harry Winston (the jeweler behind that adorable drop earring pictured above) to scout out your own diamond baubles.