I often blog about huge fashion mistakes I see out in the world. But I have a list of things that really get under my skin on a continual basis. If you’re guilty of any of these offenses, I suggest you think long and hard about your behavior…then go shopping for the right fashion fix.
1. Visible Panty Line (VPL)
If your underwear is showing through your pants, if they seem to make a rift in your butt cheeks, then, my friend, it’s time for some new panties that actually fit. Or, you could buy a more suitable style for the outfit you’re wearing. Don’t wear chunky, cotton underwear with dress pants. Don’t wear a super-tight thong with a tight dress. Wear the appropriate undergarments for every outfit and occasion. And if you don’t, I’ll judge you.
(Nothing is more attractive that a pair of granny panties that you can actually see through khakis.)
2. Muffin Top
If you have muffin top, chances are your clothes don’t fit. Here’s an idea: buy some that do. The best way for any woman to draw attention to her weight (be she big or small) is to wear clothing that doesn’t fit her correctly. Invest in clothing that fits your unique body properly instead of getting caught up on wearing a particular size. If you’re trying to look slimmer, smaller clothes will only do the opposite. There’s really nothing more unflattering than muffin top.
(No. No. No. No. No. Why are you doing this to yourself? Does that extra pudge feel good catching a breeze?)
3. Drawn-on Eyebrows
Your eyebrows help frame your face. They look weird when they’re not there...or when they’re constantly affixed in a surprised state…or when you’ve drawn them on with a pencil that looks a little wobbly and doesn’t quite match up to your hair color. Instead of plucking, see a trained aesthetician to help you find the right shape and thickness for you—there’s a real art to getting the right brows.
(I guess if you wanted too look like you were saying "EEEEK!" all the time this could be a good look for you.)
4. Fake Stuff Galore
Think of how mad you’d be if you came up with a million dollar idea only to have someone copy the idea and produce it with cheaper, uglier materials at half the price. Now you know how all your friends at Coach, Burberry, Louis Vuitton and Prada feel. Enough with the fake purses already, ladies—everyone you’re trying to impress knows they aren’t real. I can sniff out a fake from a mile away. Plus, at the end of the day, there’s been oodles of investigations done on the production of counterfeit goods that conclude they’re produced in sweat-shop conditions and that the profits fund unethical behavior like drug and human trafficking. Be classy. Save your money and buy the real deal. One well-tailored designer piece will look better than 100 badly, constructed, fake leather “Prada” purses.
(This purse is clearly not a Coach bag. If you think so, then you don't deserve to carry a Coach bag.)
5. Bad Jeans
Every time someone asks me to help them revamp their closet and wardrobe, I start with jeans. That’s because jeans can be dressy, they can be casual and they can be work appropriate. News flash: they can also be just plain ugly. There are still throngs of hideous jeans ruining the bodies of women that could otherwise look very presentable. Find the right fit of jeans for you—ditch the high waist and lose the tapered leg. You’ll look and feel much better.
(It doesn't have to be this way. Underneath those jeans there's actually a decent figure waiting to be found.)
6. Midriff Baring Tops
Whenever I see someone wearing a belly-baring top and I’m not at Yoga or celebrating Halloween I get a little uneasy. I don’t care if you have rock hard abs of steel, midriff baring tops make people uncomfortable. Showing that much skin is just wrong.
(Part time job at the strip club? With a shirt like this, I'm a shoe in!)
I think my post about cars last week had an interesting effect on my shopping habits over the weekend. I was out looking for the perfect pair of brown gloves and ended up with a pair of the most fierce driving gloves ever created.
I started my journey not knowing what I wanted: leather, suede, wool, fur…the possibilities were endless. It’s fair to say that I have an affinity for leather but I’m an open-minded kind of shopper so I wasn’t going to get set on any particular style. I just wanted a pair of stylish brown gloves to wear with my warm-colored coats.
When I saw the driving gloves my heart melted. It was fashion over function. Sure these stylish, sleek gloves give my hands a firm grip on the steering wheel…but they don’t really keep my hands too warm. The good news is I’m over that. I don’t usually frolic outside on my way to and from the office. I’d rather look adorable than be five degrees warmer on my walk from the parking garage.
My advice to you? Kick your look into high gear this winter with a pair of fashionable driving gloves. Here are some cute options.
This green pair from Banana Republic would add a pop of color and pizzazz to a winter color palette.
This pair from Nordstrom, featuring snap buttons and lots of detailing, look a lot like my driving gloves I purchased over the weekend.
There are two kinds of shoppers in this world: those who appreciate good fashion and those who just want attention. I happen to be the first kind. Everything I buy is something that I truly love. If I don’t love it, I don’t buy it. And if it’s not a good reflection of my style or the image I’m trying to convey, then I resist the temptation to get it. I could be wearing a dress from Diane Von Furstenberg or a dress from Target. The funny thing is, the average person wouldn’t know because that dress is a true reflection of my style—and I accessorize it in a way that’s unique to me. On the other hand, you’ve got the shopper who will buy anything and everything, usually because it’s a particular label or it’s flashy and plastered with logos and labels.
Let it be known that I can’t stand shopping with the latter. Shoppers who are only out for looks and labels are the worst kind. Sometimes, due to group situations and shopping with friends of friends, I end up on shopping excursions with these people. These people would buy the ugliest, most unflattering sweatshirt just because it has the words “Ralph Lauren” plastered across the front of it. They would rather go to the Coach outlet and purchase three plain, boring leather bags than save-up to buy one limited-edition, unique bag that represents the very essence of their style.
I just don’t get it. Maybe they’re trying to keep up with the Joneses or draw attention to themselves in whatever way possible. At the end of the day, however, they’re partaking in behavior that hurts their image and their wallet.
Take a good look at your purchases. Is everything something you truly love? Is everything a reflection of the style you want to convey to the world? If it’s not, then reevaluate your purchase decisions. And the next time you go shopping, buy it because you love it, not because of the logo.
Oh, PS: the title of this entry just so happens to be the title of a very fun song by Fergie that was in the Sex and the City movie.
Most people probably look at me, a 20-something blonde fashionista and (on top of that) a woman (gasp!) and think, “she probably doesn’t know anything about cars.” Wrong. I know a lot about cars. In fact, I know that when I “grow up” I want a really nice one.
I have great taste in automobiles. Just last night I spent thirty minutes designing my own custom Maserati--a white convertible with red, leather interior. Adorable. And when I was a teenager I begged my parents to buy me a Land Rover…and I think they almost did. (Sometimes the manipulation I used to partake in makes me sick. If I ever had a kid like me I’d definitely think she was a selfish, rude, overly pampered snot head. And to be honest, not much has changed.)
And I’m positive that when I meet my future sugar daddy, the first lavish gift he’ll choose to shower me with will be an adorable car (the second will be a yacht). I’d be happy with an Audi A5, the Maserati I designed (pictured below) or a Mercedes Benz SLR McLaren Roadster. But I’d settle for an SL550, I guess.
(Who says I don't know anything about rides? I'm pretty sure even the most sophisticated car aficionado couldn't argue with my custom-built Maserati, above.)
I’ve basically decided that my next ride will be a two-seater. That means there’s just enough room for me and one very large handbag (or another person of my choosing). That way I don’t have to haul people around or carry unglamorous loads of crap around. People will say things to me like, “Hey, want to help me move?” And I’ll reply, “Oh, sorry...I don’t even think I could fit anything you own into my adorable roadster.” And other people might say, “Can you watch my kid for me today?” And I’ll say, “No can do. No car seats up front—it would be dangerous.”
Yes, I’m perfectly aware that I live in a dream world. But tell me, what kind of engine you got in that?
(Click here to build your own custom Maserati. Trust me, it's fun...like shopping.)
I hate wearing pants to bed. I can’t stand when they bunch up during my peaceful slumber or twist around my legs. One of the most annoying things in the world is waking up in the middle of the night to find that my pajama pants have twisted around my knees. That said, pants are always optional in my bedtime routine. And I mean that in the most non-dirty way possible.
That’s why I’m a sucker for the men’s sleep shirt. I live for these. And this year for Christmas, I decided to share the love with my roomies. I bought them coordinating sleep shirts by Ralph Lauren (my favorite). I love these shirts. They make a great gift idea for friends or a great relaxation idea for you. And who knows? A fancy new sleep shirt, sans pants, might even spice up things in your bedroom (but I won’t make any promises).
The Ralph Lauren His Shirt is made for a lady like you, but styled like your gentleman friend's work shirt.
But the real reason I love sleeping in men’s sleep shirts is that I love waking up every morning feeling like Tom Cruise in Risky Business. And who can argue with that?
On Saturday I did what every good sister who’s significantly older than her kid brother would do: I attended a high school wrestling tournament to watch my seventh-grade brother wrestle for the junior varsity team. First off, let me say that wrestling tournaments are totally my scene. Not. Bleachers, mullets, lots of children running around everywhere—these things don’t exactly scream “Emily.” But nothing seemed to prove this point more than when I got in a fight with a wrestling mom on Saturday afternoon.
It all started when myself, my mother and one of her friends started to arrange some chairs into a line so we could watch the last match of the day. I was tired, cranky, under-caffeinated and in need of a scene change. After arranging a pod of chairs into a row my mom and her friend sat down. I paused for a moment to pull my jeans up (so the kids behind me wouldn’t see my underwear) and put my purse down in the chair. As I was placing my purse in the chair a lady wearing a large windbreaker walked up behind the chair, faced me, looked me square in the eye and placed her big, fake Coach purse next to mine in the same, exact chair.
Weird, I thought. Could she not see that I was standing there, putting my purse down and adjusting my jeans? Maybe she had mistaken me for someone she knew? I mean, my purse was in the chair. Women don’t just mess with other women’s purses. Right? Wrong.
She looked at me and said, “I’m sitting here.”
Suddenly, I knew it was on. I looked at her and said, “Did you seriously just do that? This chair had my purse in it. Rude.”
My mother’s jaw dropped as she and her friend paused their conversation to try to make sense of what was going on.
“Did you see that?” I asked them loud enough for her to hear. “She just put her purse down on mine. Did that really just happen?”
“My husband was saving this seat for me,” she scowled as she pointed to the goofy looking man sitting two chairs away. I could see why they made such a great couple. She had bleach blonde spiked hair, huge acrylic fingernails and carpenter jeans. He was gangly, awkward and wearing a NASCAR hat. Definitely not the match for a blonde girl wearing a cable knit sweater and snakeskin loafers….
“I just arranged the chairs into a line myself,” I said. “They were in a circle. This chair wasn’t even close to your husband a minute ago. I put it here myself.”
She just stared at me. I jerked my big, black leather bag out the seat and looked at her in disgust. “I can’t believe you just did that. Seriously. SERIOUSLY?”
Her husband, who was clearly growing embarrassed by the entire situation, looked up gestured to his left and spoke, “I was actually saving this chair down here for you, hun.”
“Oh, I guess he wasn’t saving that one for me,” she admitted. “Okay you can sit there.”
“No way I’m sitting there,” I said to her. “I cannot believe how rude I was just treated.” Then I looked at my mom and her friend, who were witnessing this entire debacle with their jaws on the floor.
“Did you just see what she did to me?” I asked them. “Who does that? Trashy…” I mumbled.
So I walked about five chairs away, plopped myself down and spent the next 15 minutes thinking about how much prettier I was than her…hey, it made me feel better.
And when I saw her at the end of the tournament and we made eye contact, I looked her straight in the eye and turned my nose up as high as it could go. Which is actually pretty high.
And I think that maybe, just maybe, that’s the only wrestling tournament I should attend for a while.
I wish I could tell you a wildly interesting story about my life right now, but alas, your girl Emily has been slammed with a case of the winter blues. My nail polish is chipping, my skin is dry and yet, I don’t even care. There are cures for things like this: shopping, extravagant vacations, trips to the spa. But those things take time. And as a matter of fact, I’m a little short on that these days, too!
The highlights of my life are all relative right now. Here are some.
1) I bought a new pair of jeans. They are “The Socialite” by Joe’s Jeans and I love them. They’ve been garnering a lot of attention—some people love ‘em, others hate ‘em. But I like the edgy, destroyed, yet totally sophisticated vibe they send out.
The jeans shown here are the same cut, yet a totally different wash. My jeans have lots of wearing and detailing. In short, they make me feel like a total badass.
2) I found a bottle of Ketel One on my desk today. It was a surprise from a “secret Santa.” And let me just add that this Santa is really not messing around. Oh, and it’s the gift set, too—complete with a recipe book and Ketel One shaker. I see Dirty Martini’s in my future.
3) I could really go for some Buffalo Wild Wings right now. When I moved to Minnesota I went through this “Ohmygosh I just discovered B Dubs and it is the best thing I’ve ever had” phase. I ate it like three times per week for about six months then I stopped, cold turkey.
4) I downloaded about 30 sweet techno dance beats this week for no obvious reason. They just sounded cool to dance to at the time. I think I was inspired by the episode of Glee where they make mashups. Oh well, dance party at my house!
Everyone keeps asking if I'm going to post my Christmas list this year. I decided that instead of just listing things out, I'd write my Christmas list into the lyrics of a song that always reminds me of the holidays. Sang to the tune of "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music, here's a list of my favorite things (and things that will always have a spot on my Christmas list).
Marc Jacobs purses and coats made of leather,
Days spent in South Beach and sunshiny weather
Buckets of diamonds and soft serve machines,
These are a few of my favorite things.Shiny nail polish and strong Starbucks coffee,
Burberry totes filled with fine English toffee,
Big blinged-out bracelets and huge cocktail rings,
These are a few of my favorite things.Dinners at restaurants and bottles of wine,
Dirty Martini’s and Ketel with lime,
Shoes by Manolo sent straight from my dreams,
These are a few of my favorite things.
One time a friend told me that I was extremely hard to buy for because I was “the girl who had everything.”
“If you want something,” she explained, “you go get it! You’re a take-care-of-yourself kind of woman and you don’t wait around for anyone to buy you anything.”
She was right. In fact, when I think about it…I am my own sugar daddy. Which would probably explain why the name of this blog is Pretty and Poor, not Pretty and Rich. I mean, by some accounts I could be considered very rich—to those who value shoes, clothes, handbags, top-shelf liquor, fun gadgets and good looks, I’ve established a fair amount of wealth. But if we’re keeping tabs on what’s actually inside that adorable wallet, well then, I’ve got a long way to go. But I digress.
The real point of me telling you all of this is that I can help you. Many of you might be shopping for “the girl who has everything” this holiday season and if you are, you’re probably wondering what you should get for her. Well, it takes one to know one. So here’s my gift-giving guide for all of you who are trying to figure out what to buy for that girl in your life (be it a friend, girlfriend, wife, sister or mom) who has everything.
Rule #1: Don’t try to outdo her. If she buys her own Jimmy Choos, don’t try to show up with a pair of Manolos. Sure, she’ll love the label, but if the style isn’t necessarily her taste, your gift will flop. The same example can be used with clothing, purses and more. Instead of trying to outdo her, try to outsmart her. Keep reading for more ideas.
Rule #2: Don’t get her something just because it falls under the category of a “popular gift.” Scarves and gloves are cute, but if she’s really an it-girl she probably has several of these popular, trendy items. Don’t get her another to add to her pile. Instead, just buy her something that’s not a popular gift item.
Rule #3: Give her something that money can’t buy. Actually, money can buy you just about everything these days. But here’s the point I’m trying to make: any gift that’s more experiential will be nearly priceless. A fun dinner at her favorite restaurant, a show, a small overnight trip—these things are great gifts because they’re about memories more than something in a box.
Rule #4: Give her something that costs practically nothing. This will amaze her. Because whenever someone gives me a gift that they’ve spent virtually no money on, I’m always wowed—in a good way. The “girl who has everything” usually thinks about what she needs next, and how much it will cost her. Blow her out of the water with something she never even thought of at a price she never even thought of (free).
Rule #5: Shop weird. Don’t go to all the regular stores or even the stores she shops at. This girl knows everything on those shelves. Instead, go pick out something at a store she’s never even heard of. What you select will be unique—especially to her.
(How funny would it be to see a hilarious magnet that sums up the essence of your personality every time you opened your freezer to grab your Ketel One?)
The gifts I remember from people are the ones that are homemade, funny and small gestures that let me know they really “get” me. Some of my favorite gifts from my past include refrigerator magnets, musical underwear (I don’t actually wear them, but it’s funny when my underwear drawer starts singing to me while I’m digging through it), a big plastic diamond, a magazine subscription, a memory book and trips to both Chicago and Vegas. If you’re trying to make a gift-giving splash with the girl who has everything, go for the unexpected, random and weird—she’ll remember it long after she’s worn out another pair of Jimmy Choos.
Santa Claus is basically a big sugar daddy dressed in red velvet. Think about it. As a matter of fact, I’ll help you think about it. Take a look at the Venn diagram I made:
So what does this mean? This means that when I’m writing my Christmas list this year, I’ll be asking for things I’d normally demand from the average sugar daddy…like a bucket of diamonds.
So this girl walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, you match the carpeting." That girl is me.
I like to match and coordinate. And I always try to look put together. But recently, I've taken that mentality to a whole new level. That's right, this weekend I walked into a local establishment only to discover that I, indeed, matched the carpeting. Although I had fun with this (and I think this bar has impeccable taste in floor coverings), I'm hoping that it doesn't become a trend!
When I started my blog about a year and a half ago, I thought to myself, “What will my friends think about all of this?” I was convinced I’d be written off as the computer nerd of the group who also happened to be struggling with a severe shopping addiction. I was so wrong. My friends have become my biggest fans and marketers.
Last week one of my pals and I were standing in line at the mall, we struck up a conversation with the people in front of us. She said, “Oh, this is Emily and she writes a fabulous blog—you have to check it out!” And just like that, I had two new readers.
Last night, I went out to celebrate a friend’s birthday party. I’d never been to one of the venues we were celebrating at, but when I asked about the place her response made me laugh. “Oh, you’re going to love it,” she said. “You’ll probably even blog about it!”
Side note: I will blog about this place…you’ll love my angle.
Even my parents have gotten in on the action. Last weekend my mom hosted a Christmas soiree for a few of her friends. She displayed Pretty and Poor for all to see on her laptop. Her friends all took turns sitting down and reading the blog—I even received emails from some of them telling me how much they enjoyed reading. Who knew parents could be so proud of a vodka-fueled daughter who spends too much money?
I have one friend who harasses me if I don’t post new content daily. I have another friend who sends me links and new ideas all the time. And at the end of the day, I love their support and encouragement. In my mind, all those friends are like my executive leadership team in the exaggerated empire that is Pretty and Poor (like I said, it’s in my head). Maybe one day, when Pretty and Poor actually is a fashion empire, I’ll hire them all to sit around the boardroom table and feed me great ideas. And our board meetings will actually be more like dance parties. ‘Till then, they sure are a great Pretty and Poor team to have around.
Men are funny. They always analyze what girls are wearing. I’ll be sitting at a bar with my guy friends having a drink and one of the guys will look over at me and say, “Why do girls wear tights? Don’t they realize guys don’t like those?”
My response is always the same. “Girls don’t dress for guys, they dress for other girls.”
And the guys always get a dumbfounded look on their face. As if I’ve just revealed the greatest secret in the entire universe. For example, the tights thing: girls wear tights because they’re stylish, trendy and they keep their legs warm in winter. I’m fairly certain that no girl slips on a pair of tights and thinks, “these are the sexiest things ever. I can’t wait to slip these control-top tights on to go seduce Mr. Right.”
Girls want to wear what’s hip and stylish. They want women to stop them, wherever they go, and say things like, “I love your shoes.” Or, “that dress looks great on you.” Sometimes, what wows the girls doesn’t exactly do it for the guys.
The guys have taught me a lot of things about what they look for in a girl’s outfit. In fact, they were the ones who told me what “tit curtains” are. “Tit curtains” is the phrase they use to refer to a woman’s shirt that’s more loose and flowy throughout. Without tailoring, a shirt like this often gives the appearance that it’s hanging from the boobs…garnering the name, “tit curtains.” Now, every time I see a fellow female sporting one of these almost-maternity tops I think to myself, “hey girl, nice tit curtains.”
This week, one of the boys also informed me that when girls wear scarves without coats he doesn’t like it very much. Picky. Picky!
So ladies, what can we take from all of this? If you’d like to attract the attention of a gentleman friend, nix the tights, lose the “tit curtains” and definitely don’t wear a scarf without a coat. Oh, and they’ve also given me the verdict on leggings, too—which isn’t good. My advice to you would be to wear no clothing at all. Nudity is the key to finding a man.
One of my favorite things in the whole world is Dunkin' Donuts. Probably because I always associate them with the mall. You see, when I was a kid, I used to accompany my mom and grandma on shopping trips to a mall about an hour away. Every time we'd head back home, we'd stop at Dunkin' Donuts and I'd get a donut. Usually it was something with frosting and sprinkles. But would you expect any less from me? Unforunately, there are no Dunkin' Donuts in Minnesota. This kind of ruins my life. However, after spending about 20 minutes on the Dunkin' Donuts website earlier, I found out that I could make my very own donut to look at. Check out my donut, then click here to make your very own!
And PS: If you're reading this Dunkin' Donuts, I think it's time for a couple Minnesota locations.
The holiday season is all about giving. And this year, I’m going to focus on helping out and giving back more than ever. That’s why I’ve decided to help YOU get more of what you want. You see, I’d love to send an email to your Santa to help them understand what you want for the Holidays. After all, helping people spend is one of my fortes. Here’s an example of something I might send to your Santa.
Dear [Your Santa’s Name],
Holiday shopping is hard enough, so I thought I’d help you out this year by giving you some advice about what [Your Name] might like to receive. You see, [Your Name] is an avid reader of Pretty and Poor, a website that’s all about working hard and spending hard focused on shopping, fashion, beauty and all the things it takes to live a fun, frivolous life. Since we’re nearly always talking about shopping, I’ve got the inside scoop on [Your Name’s] wish list. [He/She] would like:
1) Item
2) Item
3) ItemThat’s not so bad, is it? I mean, it could be worse. After all, I’m asking for a bucket of diamonds (again) this year. Now Go Forth and Shop!
Happy Spending,
Emily at Pretty and Poor
These emails are strictly for one-time use and won’t be used for any sort of marketing efforts or exploitations-- no funny business. And I won’t say anything mean or offensive. It's a totally personal way to nudge your Santa in the right direction. Plus, I just want to make your holidays a little happier!
So let’s tell your Santa what you want this year. Click here to send me an email. In the email, please list the following information:
1) Your name
2) Your Santa’s name
3) Your Santa's email address
4) Your Santa’s relationship to you
5) One to five (1-5) things on your wish list
It's easy enough! And I’ll do my part to make sure you get what you want!
I don’t have a dog because they kind of gross me out. Picking up poop? Not attractive. Sweeping up hair? Gross. Getting drool all over my nice pants? So not cute. However, I would argue that the most disgusting aspect of dog ownership is the barf.
When I was in college I used to babysit for a family with two boys. Generally, the babysitting gigs were easy and the money was good. That is, until the family got a dog. Before the dog, the kids and I would sit around playing chess, battling each other on XBox and watching Star Wars (they were very into that stuff). But all that changed the night I babysat for them and their new puppy.
That night, the parents left to go see a play. Before leaving, the mom left a self-rising frozen pizza out on the counter for us to make later that night. While the boys and I were downstairs playing the puppy (an 80 pound labradoodle) was peacefully asleep upstairs…or so I thought. After playing for about an hour, the boys decided they were hungry so we headed upstairs to pop the pizza in the oven. But it was gone. Strange.
I looked around and saw what I thought were a couple shreds of mozzarella cheese and part of a box. Then, I looked at the dog, who was lying on the floor with its head tilted to the side.
“Oh no,” I mumbled, putting the pieces together. “This is not good.”
So I did what any normal babysitter would do. I called the parents and explained what happened. The mom immediately freaked out (they were first time dog owners) and called the veterinarian after hanging up with me, and when she called back, the verdict was not good.
“You’ll have to give the dog peroxide and make him throw up,” she said. “If we don’t get that pizza out of there, there’s a chance he could get really sick.”
“Well,” I thought, “I guess that’s a chance we’ll have to take because anything that’s stupid enough to eat a whole pizza deserves to be sick.”
But I couldn’t let a dog die in front of two impressionable kids. So I got out the peroxide. I did it for the kids.
Holding the dog down and trying to force peroxide down his throat was challenging enough. But it was about 10 seconds after the first sip that the real fun started. The dog began heaving; its mouth opened and out poured a doughy wad of pepperoni, sausage and drool.
“Sick,” I thought as I looked away and the kids gasped in horror.
Then it yacked again. And again. And again. And before I knew it, the kitchen floor was covered with doughy, nasty, stomach-juice-covered pizza. You see, self-rising pizzas are made out of dough that rises. So when the pizza got into the dog’s stomach, it essentially thought it was in a nice warm oven. It began expanding and rising very quickly—with no end in sight. And if the dog wouldn’t have puked it up, its stomach would have basically exploded. And then I would have had to deal with that (I picture the dog essentially blowing up like a balloon and eventually popping). Sick.
See? Dogs do gross things. I was reminded of this horrific babysitting experience last night when I arrived home to find out that my roommate’s dog ate an entire bowl of Hershey’s Kisses. Foil and all. And guess what? After a spoonful of peroxide he yacked up a big ball of holiday fun in the form of green and red Hershey’s Kisses foil. Merry. Christmas.
(I have no idea why our household dog likes candy. No idea. That is definitely NOT a picture of me feeding him a lollipop after a couple dirty martinis.)
And just for the record, that family never asked me to babysit again. But I was somehow okay with that. I would give back all the babysitting money in the world to never have to watch a dog puke again.
I must profess my love for sequins. I am so happy they’re in style this season. Just a few weeks ago I was digging through my closet and I came across a black, sequined shirt I bought years ago at Express. It still had the tags on it. My eyes lit up. It was like finding a new outfit in my closet (literally). I knew I must have bought that light-catching, blinged-out shirt for a reason. I must have known it would be in style this year.
In the spirit of going overboard, which is something I often do, I have my sights set on several more sequined pieces for my wardrobe this season. Here are some of my favorites.
This adorable sequined skirt from Victoria’s Secret is a must-have for my closet. I can picture it paired with so much stuff: sweaters, a boyfriend jacket, chunky heels, boots! I could wear this every day and never get sick of it. And no, I’m not kidding.
This jacket, from Club Monaco, is the epitome of city cool. The contrast of the slouchy fit and the glam of the sequins is a fun juxtaposition to play around with. Paired with denim and a white t-shirt, this look is the greatest kind of glam.
Have a pants party with these sequined leggings from Express. While these might not work for everyone, I say rock them if you can. Paired with an oversized sweater or a jacket (not a sequined one) and your favorite stilettos, these are the perfect party pants!
So ladies, there you have it. Sequins are hot. Now go forth and glitterize!
