I played with Barbie a lot as a kid. And I often wonder if this had a profound effect on my psyche. For example, it was totally normal for Barbie to have 60 pairs of shoes in different colors and styles. Is it a coincidence that I also think having (over) 60 pairs of shoes in different colors and styles is necessary? And Barbie could be anything. I mean, one minute she was an astronaut, then the next a rocker and then a ballerina. I’m a bag of surprises just like Barbie. One minute I’m a businesswoman and the next minute I’m a cellist (no, seriously, I play the cello). And there’s days, just like Barbie, when I’ve seriously wanted to wear a tutu to the grocery store.

And where the hell is my Ken? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure we were supposed to be together by now. And that pink dream house in Malibu? I’m still waiting.

To me, Barbie symbolizes what just about every little girl wants out of life: the career that makes her happy (whatever that is), a man who’s faithfully devoted to her for years, tons of friends, shoes for every day of the week, great hair and the confidence to accomplish anything.

So while others might bash Barbie for her barely-there waist or make accusations that she fuels sexist stereotypes, I applaud Barbie for giving me the drive to get my life going. Because if it weren’t for the vision of that pink dream house, a closet full of shoes or Ken’s smiling face, I’d never have anything to aim for.

I recently got stuck in traffic while driving to my parent’s house for Thanksgiving. Not like that’s anything new or exciting—traffic is an unfortunate reality when you live in the city. But while I was sitting there in a sea of red brake lights listening to Lady Gaga, I had a sad and somewhat disheartening revelation. It was as if the world was trying to tell me something.

Traffic was at a complete standstill, except for the traffic in the carpool lane. The cars in the carpool lane were whizzing by at 65 miles per hour while I was slowly crawling at a top speed of 15.

“Ugh,” I thought as I cranked up my seat heater. “The world just seems to value people who travel in twos. Too bad I don’t have a super hot boyfriend chilling in the passenger seat. We could have been to our destination already.”

As my frustrations began to mount, I looked at the oversized purse I had sitting in my passenger seat. My car often thinks that my purse is a person because it weighs about 40 pounds. I keep everything in it. Most of the time, when that purse is in the passenger seat, my car beeps, reminding me to put the seatbelt around the special “passenger.” If only my car knew it were a purse, and not an actual person—pathetic. Good thing my car can’t laugh at me.

So I sat in traffic pondering my life as a single girl just trying to make it in the world.

“Is life just easier for people who travel in twos?” I questioned. “Will I always pay more for things and have to sit in the slow lane just because I’m not attached? Probably.”

But then a smile washed across my face. Alas, I’d found the silver lining I’d been looking for.

“As long as I’m single,” I thought, “I don’t have to tell anyone what I bought on sale at Neiman’s or hide my shoes, purses and other frivolous purchases. I don’t have to ‘pretend’ that things cost less than they actually were. In fact, I don’t have to worry about feeling guilty for much of anything—especially not for shopping. ”

So I turned up Bad Romance and got a little cozier, I looked over at my passenger (in the form of a gigantic handbag), smiled and winked. Then I looked in my mirror, veered to the left, stepped on the gas and continued on my way: illegally driving in the carpool lane.

Some people get texts from friends that say "Happy Thanksgiving." I get texts that say this.

"Good Morning Skank. Happy Skanksgiving!"

~My friend, on Thanksgiving morning.

It’s the week of Thanksgiving. You know, the holiday where we celebrate a feast between pilgrims and indigenous peoples. It’s a celebration that’s all about welcoming, sharing and reflecting. That’s why this Thanksgiving, I’ll be counting my blessings (per usual). Here’s a list of the things I’m thankful for.

I’m Thankful For…
The fact that my naturally high arches allow me to wear stilettos with virtually no pain. Heels? Yes please.

I’m Thankful For…
My full set of zebra print Ralph Lauren Rodeo Drive sheets. I sleep like a princess every night. I recently looked into acquiring more of these sheets for myself and was shocked (literally, my jaw dropped) at the rarity and cost of them. Apparently, I sleep on about $300 worth of sheets every night. News to me (but not necessarily surprising). I actually worry about what I will do when I can no longer find these sheets.

I’m Thankful For…
Ketel One.

I’m Thankful For…
iTunes. Thanks to iTunes I’ve spent more money on music than I ever thought possible. My latest purchase? The re-released Lady Gaga CD. So worth it.

I’m Thankful For…
Heated seats. I would literally freeze my caboose off in the subzero temperatures of Minnesota if it weren’t for butt warmers. These aren’t just an added option to be lumped into the “bells and whistles” category…these are essential.

I’m Thankful For…
Cheeseburgers. You might think I’m high maintenance but at the end of the day it doesn’t take a lot to make me happy. Hook me up with a good cheeseburger and a few French fries and you’ve got yourself a friend for life. Matt’s Bar in Minneapolis has one of the best.

I’m Thankful For…
TCBY. It’s like soft-serve ice cream without the guilt! After a nice dinner at Crave last weekend the waiter asked me if I’d care for any dessert. I bluntly stated, “Only if you have soft serve frozen yogurt.” Pretty sure he thought I was crazy (and I won’t argue with him).

I’m Thankful For…
Awesome readers, fans and supporters. Seriously, give yourself some credit! Thanks for checking back to see what’s new in my life, commenting on your favorites and telling me how much you love my ramblings. You’re the best!

I’m Thankful For…
An amazing family, fabulous friends and good health. Sure, my Dad stalks me on dates, my friends fuel my shopping addiction and I complain about my sinuses (nerd). But at the end of the day, those things are all minor. It’s good to know you’ve got a family who loves you, friends you can count on and a full box of Mucinex.

Here’s to a Holiday that’s full of good health, a great family and all the comforts that you’ve grown to be thankful for. Us Pretty and Poor people sure do take a lot for granted, but at the end of the day, we know how to count our blessings. Happy Thanksgiving!

I just watched The Hills for the first time since college. And I can almost guarantee that my life is just as interesting. So, I’ve decided to write an open letter to the production team at MTV telling them about my new idea.

Dear MTV,
The Hills is cute. But that LA thing is so 10 minutes ago. I mean, how long are you really going to drag this thing out? Laguna Beach started like eight years ago. I guess people are still interested in the crazy relationship that Heidi and Spencer have…and now that I think about it, it’s possible that the world hasn’t seen enough Brody Jenner. But, I have a new idea that will really knock your viewer’s socks off.

Picture this: A dark sky slowly pans in on the night skyline of city, as you get closer you realize that it’s snowing. The snow swirls around against the illuminated city background and suddenly the camera focuses on a single city street where a girl strides along in the snow wearing a fur coat, complete with muffins, cute boots and rosy cheeks (that’s me). Then, as she walks, from other streets and alleys her friends join her and they all walk along the snow-covered street in unison, looking very fierce, stylish and privileged. Welcome to Minneapolis. Oh, and did I mention a very hip song is playing in the background?

From that opening sequence, the plot would be a lot like The Hills, expect better, because my life is way more exciting. There could be a lot of scenes where I sit on my sofa or chaise lounge all dressed up, drinking a dirty martini and complaining about boys and pondering when I’ll get my bucket of diamonds from Mr. Right. Dance parties would happen. Sometimes I would cry. Sometimes I would drink a lot. I’d wear flashy, highly fashionable outfits that cost too much. The many nights I charter my own personal limo through the streets of Minneapolis would be chronicled. Me being mean to men at bars would also be documented. And then would come the shopping trips, random weekends in Chicago and moments when everyday occurrences become absolutely batty.

My friend and I always joke around that our lives are, in fact, movies. That’s because in the movies, the twists of fate aren’t nearly as dramatic as they are in our daily lives. I’d be like the Kristen. And I’m more than confident I have the right cast of friends to portray the other characters on the show.

I know this is probably overwhelming, MTV. And if you’re stuck on naming ideas I think I can help there, too. We could call it The Lakes. Minnesota is, after all, the land of 10,000 lakes, so it makes sense to tie in a reference like this. And in the summer time we could even get some footage from the bow of a yacht on Lake Minnetonka. How’s that for the glamorous life?

So, take some time. Sleep on it. Think about how profitable this could be and how it could truly expand your viewership. I’ll be ready to talk whenever you are.

Love,
Emily

I've always felt like Paris Hilton and I have some sort of a sisterly connection. I mean, even though we've never met, I think we could easily spend the day shopping at Fred Segal together. It's really no surprise to me that Paris also agrees with me when it comes to pets, cars and men.

“Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.”

~Paris Hilton, a real-life heiress who makes a lot of sense with the above statement.

People keep asking me if I’m going shopping on Black Friday. Let me take this opportunity to answer that question. NO. I am not going shopping on Black Friday. In fact, I’d rather saw off both my arms and watch them bleed. Okay, yuck, no I wouldn’t. But I absolutely despise Black Friday. And I believe that anyone who truly enjoys the art of shopping leaves Black Friday festivities to the crazies.

The very thought of snapping out of a food coma at 4:00 a.m. on the morning after Thanksgiving doesn’t sound enjoyable to me. In fact, that in itself makes Black Friday shopping a true burden. Then, you’ve got to brave your way to a store and stand in line for hours. Sick. Surrounded by people who think it’s cute to go shopping in their pajama pants. Double sick. And this year, 30 percent of those people you’re crammed in line with will probably have H1N1. Triple sick. And most of the time, all of this is done for the equivalent of a free pair of socks.

So no, I will not be traveling out into the bitter cold to fight for an extra 10 percent off my purchases. I’d rather venture out on a random Monday night to do my shopping. I might spend a little bit more money, but I won’t get arrested for assault (which could potentially save me thousands).

"I might spend a little bit more money, but I won’t get arrested for assault (which could potentially save me thousands)."

PS: If you are a loyal reader and/or friend and you shop on Black Friday, I promise not to judge you as harshly in person. Most of this Black Friday nonsense can be explained using psychology. I have a long hatred of Black Friday stemming from my childhood. You see, my dad is a long-time veteran of the retail world. What does everyone in the retail world do on Black Friday? Work. They deal with “issues,” make store visits and check up on sales stats all day long. So every Friday after Thanksgiving while all of my friends were hanging out with their Dads having fun, I was getting periodic updates pertaining to stats over LY via telephone.

I occasionally come across things that are distinctly me. And for some reason, I love everything on Bluntcard.com (probably because I'm inappropriate and so are a number of their cards). Seriously, you can't help but laugh. Here's my latest favorite!

I’m not an astrologer. I have no credit as spiritual advisor. But, I know how to spend frivolously and inspire others to do the same. That’s why I’ve decided to introduce monthly “Pooroscopes” on Pretty and Poor to help you in your soul searching (at the mall). Whether you’re lost and looking for something to buy, or need help and guidance on the path to retail love, look no further than your monthly Pooroscope for the answers to all your precious little problems.

Your December 2009 Pooroscope

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): It’s the most wonderful time of the year--for you, at least! You’ve got a Birthday on the books and you’re either feeling another year older, or another present luckier. No matter your reason, make December a month to splurge on something that makes you happy. A great new Gucci bag? Do it. A Max Mara trench coat? Go for it. As a matter of fact, go big or go home. This month is all about the lavish things in your life.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Glitter, sparkle and shine are calling your name in December. Think about making a splash at a holiday gathering in a heavily sequined blouse. Try rhinestones or elaborate beading for a festive touch that says, “I am a fashionista…see me SHINE!” Go buy yourself something sparkly or dig through your closet for that sequined mini you never thought you’d wear again.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Buy something red! Something that says, va-va-voom! Give yourself a bright burst of color that’s festive, bright and very much in style. Whether it’s a red wool coat or a red shift dress, do the season up right with a ramped-up red hue!

Pisces (February 19-March 20): Got the blues? There’s never been a better time to invest in a new pair of sensible, premium denim. Joe’s, True Religion, J Brand, Rich and Skinny—no matter your brand, go out and find the fit that’s best for you. Then, take the plunge. If your jean collection is already huge then invest in a trendier pair. If you need to bulk up your denim arsenal, get a classic pair that you can wear with anything!

Aries (March 21-April 19): Hey! When’s the last time you bought new underwear? Sometimes those little unmentionables are some of life’s best little indulgences. Treat yourself to something lacy, silky and perhaps even sultry. Your love life might even thank you (wink wink).

Taurus (April 20-May 20): I see your social scene getting a little more exciting because you’ve got the right gadgets to support a socialite kind of life. If you’ve not invested in a fun iPhone or cool laptop, now might be the perfect time to invest.

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Shoes are in your cards this month! If you haven’t found a great pair of boots for the season, now’s the time to treat yourself. You’re gonna’ be doing a lot of walking (through the mall) ad you’ll need a great pair of shoes for the journey. Over-the-knee or booties style will help you look particularly trendy! Now walk on!

Cancer (June 21-July 22): You’re already sick of winter, aren’t you? It’s time for a vacation. Whether you take a weekend trip to visit friends, journey home for the holidays or plan an all-inclusive Mexican getaway, spend on a trip! You’ll feel refreshed and surprisingly worldly!

Leo (July 23-August 22): December is a good month to snuggle up by the fire in new pajamas (in a fun pattern, like zebra print, of course). Treat yourself to a new pair of pajamas and spend December lounging like you mean it.

Virgo (August 23-September 22): Your December will be marked by studs. Maybe you’ll meet a stud out on the town…or maybe you’ll buy yourself a new accessory with studded details. Studs are in right now. Give yourself a stylish punk edge this December with a new studded accessory!

Libra (September 23-Ocotber 22): Make your toasts matter this December with a blingin’ cocktail ring. Whether it’s an heirloom piece or something with modern day charm, pick up cocktail ring that will demand everyone’s attention. You’ll make a loud and clear statement with a simple lift of your drink.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21): It’s a great time for sweets! But skip the candy canes this December and go straight for the Godiva. Give yourself the gift of good chocolate. You’ll feel like a total goddess!

I might offend a lot of readers by saying this, but I do not like Uggs. I am not a fan. And I definitely don’t support the fashion faux pas of wearing them with just about everything. Sure, they might be great for a ski trip or a lazy Sunday afternoon in January. But Uggs have crossed the line too many times to be considered fashionable in my book. For some reason unbeknownst to me, someone somewhere decided that it was okay to wear shearling boots with everything…and that became fashionably acceptable. It’s not okay. And if you’re wearing Uggs with an outfit you shouldn’t be, I’m going to judge you.

A few nights ago I was watching Project Runway, and when Althea stepped out onto the runway from inside the tent at Bryant Park I gasped in horror. There, a self-proclaimed fashion expert was wearing a sassy, flowing top with pants and (you guessed it) Uggs. Wouldn’t a pair of fierce, black, suede over-the-knee boots have been much more hip and fashion-forward for an up-and-coming designer? Just saying.

I have lots of supporting evidence in my case against Uggs. For starters, Uggs don’t give your feet any shape. Instead, they give you teddy bear feet. As a result, your legs look like teddy bear legs: short and stumpy. Shoes or boots that actually have a sleek, tapered line will give the illusion of more slender legs.

On another note, Sherpa doesn’t go with everything. You don’t wear your brown shoes with every outfit. You don’t wear your black shoes with every outfit. Then why is it acceptable to wear your Uggs with everything under the sun? Oh wait, it’s not.

If you don’t consider yourself fashionable, then disregard this message. However, if you consider yourself stylish, heed my advice: Uggs are called “Uggs” for a reason. When worn with all your outfits, they’re just plain uggly.

By the way, not all styles of Uggs are wrong. In fact, Ugg makes many styles that are fashion-forward and practical for outdoor wear. It's just those worn-into-the-ground classic tan Uggs that ruin it for everyone.

How do you get dressed in the morning? Do you just go the closet and pick out whatever? Do you plan your outfits out at the beginning of the week? The night before?

When I get dressed in the morning, it’s spontaneous and chaotic—which would surprise a lot of people because I apparently always look “so pulled together.” Part of that can be attributed to the fact that I make smart purchasing decisions. The other is because sometimes I play games with myself when getting dressed in the morning. It’s like a watered-down version of dress up. For example, when I got dressed this morning, I asked myself, “What would a Burberry model wear?” I opted for a black sweater dress, black tights with white dots, platform stilettos, a leather motorcycle jacket and a wool Burberry scarf. I finished my hair off with a sloppy ponytail and smoked-up my eyes with some dark eye shadow. I called it my Kate Moss look…minus the cocaine.

Some mornings I pretend to be the editor-in-chief of my favorite fashion magazine. Other days I dress like a socialite. Sometimes I dress like Heidi Klum. One time I even found myself standing in front of my closet saying, “What would Oprah wear?” And then there’s the times I channel some of my favorite people: the real housewives of Orange County, Marilyn Monroe and yes, even Lady Gaga.

I find style inspiration in a lot of things and people. And I like waking up every morning with no sense of how I’ll dress…and generally, I like the results I come up with.

How do you get dressed in the morning? I wanna' know. Share your story in the comments section!

Sometimes I get a real case of the “blahs.” As in, “Blah. My hair isn’t cute,” or “Blah, I keep wearing the same outfits.” Sometimes, I remedy my “blahs,” by shopping. But let’s be honest, that’s not always the most responsible (or economical) way to cure the “blahs.” Since I’m constantly thinking of fashionable new ways to update my look and keep my image fresh and interesting, I’ve developed my five favorite ways to cure the “blahs.” These are some of my most tried and true ways to mix-up your look without causing any long-term damage. And by long-term damage, I’m referencing that time you cut your hair in really short choppy layers and then had to wait about three years for it to grow out. Oh wait, that was me. And those years were referred to as my mom hair cut years. So avoid any potentially hazardous haircuts (or worse) and try one of these five ways to change your look!

5) Sunglasses
Sunglasses are, hands down, my favorite accessory. I never leave home without one or five pairs. They’re great because they have the ability to give the same outfit an entirely different look. Take a black t-shirt and jeans, for example. An active pair could make you look sporty. Over-sized black glasses could give you serious glam. White glasses could help you stand out in a crowd and put off an uber-trendy vibe. The best news is, you can find a pair of sunglasses within your price range. Target has a number of styles for around $15 while you can stop by Neimans and invest in a pair of stunning Versace’s for $300. Point being: you can change your look for as little or as much as you want with a pair of great shades.

4) Make-Up
Some people get into a make-up routine and wear the same colors applied in the same way every day. That’s great…until you get sick of it. An easy, affordable way to mix-up your look is to play with your make-up. Try out some new lashes (MAC’s are great), a glam eyeliner or a bold lip color to really make a statement. For example, if you don’t wear any eyeliner, adding a sleek swipe of black liquid liner will add instant “diva” to your look. And, if you normally wear a lip gloss, pick out a matte lipstick to try instead. But beware—only pick one thing to alter at once, you don’t want to end up looking like a clown. The best part of this blah-blaster is that most people won’t be able to pinpoint what’s different about you—yet they’ll know something has changed!

3) Belt It!
In my book, belts are an underrated accessory. Just last week I was traveling with a colleague who was looking to belt her outfit. By taking a different approach and wearing her belt over her entire outfit, she created a look she didn’t think was attainable! Belts are great for adding a splash of color to an outfit, changing the shape of a look or creating a new focal point. To add a splash of color, opt for a brightly colored belt or a patterned design. I love my zebra print belt for adding interest to boring outfits. To change the shape, try belting an outfit around your natural waits or higher. And to create a new focal point, opt for a belt with an elaborate buckle.

2) Sassy Ponytail
If you’re like a lot of girls, you probably get into a rut of wearing your hair in a similar way every day. And I’ll bet the ponytail is the go-to hairstyle if you’re running behind or need a quick, sloppy fix. The ponytail, however, should get more credit than it does. When styled correctly, a simple ponytail can take your look from so-so to sassy! Some of my favorite nights out on the town were spent rocking ponytails—and I didn’t pull my hair up because I ran out of time, I pulled my hair back because it gave me a fun edge that I couldn’t achieve with my normal hairstyle. For something fun, try keeping the ponytail piecey with product and spray or wrap a piece of hair around the band for a sleek finish.

1) A Good Spray Tan
Sometimes you have to fake it ‘till you make it. And getting an island glow from the comfort of your home is a great way to change up your look without an expensive vacation or harmful rays. Plus, with your gorgeous new glow, you might even be inspired to wear something with a shorter hemline to show off your toned legs, or pick something out in a color you wouldn’t normally pair with pasty skin. Try a MysticTan at your local tanning salon if you want to avoid the application process. But for an at-home application that’s close to a glow you could snag in St. Tropez, check out Antidote Skin Care’s line of sunless tanning products.

I’m one of those girls who’s constantly buying gifts for herself. Let’s be honest, if I don’t buy myself gifts, who else is gonna’ get them for me? My Dad stopped contributing to that slippery slope of behavior about five years ago. I’m completely single, so it’s not like I can count on a boy to buy me things. And, oh, PS: I’ve yet to find my sugar daddy soul mate, so I’m in it all by myself.

Last week I went on a business trip and on my way to my destination, I made a deal with myself.

“Emily,” I said to myself on the plane, “If you do a good job at work during the next 24 hours, you’re allowed to buy yourself a new pair of shoes.”

I find myself making these deals with myself more and more. Probably because it’s exciting—it’s shopping, with an added level of competition. Plus, it inspires me to be great in other areas of my life. So after my business trip ended on Friday, I went home dreaming of the stilettos I was going to purchase.

On Saturday morning I set out to find those perfect shoes. I went to the new Nordstrom Rack about 20 minutes away. It was a horrible idea. Why? Because after trying on six pairs of Rich and Skinny Jeans, two Tory Burch Dresses and an adorable Diane Von Furstenberg I finally found eight pairs of shoes that I adored. I quickly realized that I was going to have to make some choices—there was no reason for me to be a frivolous spender on a random Saturday. I put the dresses back. Nixed the jeans. And thought really hard about what shoes I actually needed.

I dropped the boots. Cut the pointy stilettos out of the equation. And I reluctantly slid the Burberry flats back on the shelf with a tear in my eye. I opted for a smart pair of black leather platform pumps and a pair of leopard print platform pumps with patent leather detailing. I felt so in charge of my spending: two pairs of shoes for under $100.

So to celebrate, I went out and bought myself a nice steak dinner and a couple dirty martinis (made with Ketel One, of course).

Last week my roomies and I started P90X. Yup, that’s right. Just three girls having the time of their lives. Not. More like three girls having the most awful time of their lives while trying to maintain a decent physique during the long Minnesota winters. P90X is really hard. It’s not glamorous and it’s definitely not fun. Yet there’s something that keeps me popping in those videos every night.

Perhaps the fact that I can’t move my body most days of the week gives me some sort of reassurance that it’s actually working. Maybe it’s that I love the corny jokes that workout leader Tony Horton cracks. Or maybe it’s just the fact that I love drinking my Muscle Milk Light Protein shakes after a workout. Whatever it is, it’s contagious. And with a few more weeks of discipline and physical agony, I might just get ripped.

I try not to blog about my day job on Pretty and Poor, but I think this is relevant. You see, I recently assumed a new role at the marketing agency where I work. In this role, I get the opportunity to travel more—which I love. There’s actually a ton I love about my new role, but I’m particularly excited about the travel aspect.

You see, since I was a kid, I’ve always thought about being one of those total jet-setters: a no-nonsense woman in a power suit, striding through the airport on her phone, en route to a fabulous destination where she’d undoubtedly close a huge business deal and enjoy drinks with C-suite executives. I’m almost there. But as I prepare to leave town once again I can’t help but think that behind that perfectly put-together woman, there’s a head full of crazy travel thoughts, worries and annoyances. I know, because I have them, too.

Travel Thought #1:
Packing. Take only what you need. This is a business trip. You don’t need 17 outfit changes like Lady Gaga at the VMAs. And for goodness sake, try to limit yourself to one pair of shoes. (And a backup pair in case you break a heel. This is life on the road, anything could happen.)

Travel Thought #2:
Chance I’ll get to sit next to a hot guy on the plane: 1/80,000
Chance I’ll get to sit next to a large, hairy, bald man who’s my Dad’s age: 1/2

Travel Thought #3:
Take a stylish Pashmina so that you don’t get the urge to ask for an airplane blanket (might as well cover yourself with swine flu). Eck.

Travel Thought #4:
What is it about airplanes that makes your hair oily and your make-up slimy? I wonder if that same thing would happen on my own private jet?

Travel Thought #5:
Whoever decided to put Starbucks in just about every airport was a genius. Noble peace prize? Absolutely.

Travel Thought #6:
Whoever decided to put bars in airports was a genius. Noble peace prize? Absolutely…but they’d have a contender from the Starbucks thinker in #5.

Travel Thought #7:
Some flight attendant outfits would deter me from the profession completely. Others, like that adorable red wrap dress from Delta, make me want to consider going into the field.

Travel Thought #8:
Why is the spawn of Satan sitting behind me? Why is he annoying? And really, why is his mother letting him stick his feet into the back of my chair?

Travel Thought #9:
I could have done dinner at Morton’s for the cost of an airport turkey sandwich and Diet Coke. One is more glamorous than the other.

Travel Thought #10:
Look at those tourists. Show offs. We get it—you’re wearing shorts and flip-flops in November…you’re clearly going somewhere warm, fabulous and fun. I hope you have a lovely time. I’ll think of you when I’m sitting in my hotel room working on a PowerPoint later.

The latest Lady Gaga video is fantastic. It's all you've come to expect from Lady Gaga-- glitz, glam, amazing dancing and a whole lot of disturbia. There were two things, in particular, that struck me as FANTASTIC about the video. The first was when Lady Gaga was surrounded by floating diamonds. That really hit home with me. The second was when a trench coat was ripped from her body, only to reveal the Burberry nova check lining that I love. See the picture, below. And watch the Bad Romance video here.

I recently read an article that explained how women end up drinking a lot of their calories. I started thinking about how for some people, this is probably very true. However, for myself, it’s not so much a matter of drinking my calories as it is a matter of drinking my dough. As in my money. The beverages I drink cost me a pretty penny with each sip—yet I still continue to buy them. For you, this post might be an idea generator, a thirst quencher or a wake-up call.

Starbucks’ Iced Venti Non-Fat Latte
This is my go-to coffee drink of choice. And at only 130 calories, it’s anything but a guilty pleasure. Plus, with no fat, 12 grams of protein, 40 percent of my daily calcium needs and enough caffeine to kill a small horse, this beverage has clear benefits. Most summer mornings, I start my day off with one of these bad boys. My hips don’t feel the effects—but my wallet sure does. At nearly $3.80 (depending on tax), nearly two of these beverages a week will set me back around $400 a year. Woops.

The Dirty Martini
I’m a sucker for the smooth and salty succulence of a good dirty martini. And according to our friends over at ChaCha, one indulgence will cost you roughly 200-300 calories, depending on how your martini is made. That’s not terrible, considering some of the sugary alternatives that could make a night on the town even less healthy. Blended with a good vodka and a few olives, one of these could cost an average amount of $10 at a bar or restaurant. At one dirty martini a week, you’re looking at $520 a year. And let's be honest, who can stop at just one?

Diet Coke
Bubbles, fizz and that “ahhh” effect means I constantly crave Diet Coke. It’s like I need it to function properly. I get sad, I drink Diet Coke. I get bored, I drink Diet Coke. I need energy, I reach for a Diet Coke. I probably put down four to five Diet Cokes a week. It’s not that it matters, though—at no calories, and no fat, it’s the healthiest guilty pleasure I have. Sure, I’ve heard rumors that it’s slowly killing my internal organs and rotting my bones, but for now, it keeps me smiling. The average bottle of Diet Coke costs me around $1.40. Times that by the five I believe I drink a week, and I spend around $370 a year on Diet Coke alone. And that doesn’t count the occasional 12-pack I pick up from the grocery store.

So, there you have it. The beverages I spend my money on. Add it all up, and I spend approximately $1,290 on these fabulous, frivolous beverages. Sure, they quench my thirst. But if I stopped buying them all together, I’d have enough funds to whet my appetite for this adorable, pink Marc Jacobs Bruna tote.

Let me just preface this post by saying, “Don’t judge me.” Tonight I was watching For The Love Of Ray J on VH1 while I was cooking dinner. I didn’t mean to watch it…it was just there when I flipped the television on. And I was so overwhelmed with terror and concern that I couldn’t bring myself to look away or change the channel...kind of like a terrible car accident that you can’t stop looking at. The sheer tragedy of the show overwhelmed me. SO I watched for five minutes…

Despite the fact that Ray J was a total creep and all the girls were skanks, I thought it was very interesting when Ray J went around the dinner table on the girls’ first night and named them all funny nicknames. One girl liked fancy things, so he called her Flossy. One girl stood up and proclaimed her drunkenness, she was called Tipsy. The Italian girl was named Fettucini and the Halle Berry look-alike was called Mz Berry. The names were like hybrid stripper nicknames. And for a minute, it seemed as if Ray J was a modern day Snow White surrounded by a harem of dwarfs (there was Flossy and Tipsy, Berry and Lucious...sounds similar to Dopey and Sleepy, Doc and Grumpy, Happy and you get my point).

This got my wheels turning. If I were on a VH1 reality show trying to win the love of someone like Ray J or Flavor Flav, what would my nickname be? Here are some options for my reality show name, you know…in case I ever wanted to be on For the Love of Ray J.

I could be…

Barbie: The peppy blonde who lives in a dream world.

Diamond: I sparkle and shine like the rocks I love.

Smarty Pants: I'm super intelligent, and I'd like to invite you to a party, in my pants.

Spendy: I like shopping and people who shop for me.

Let’s be honest, I’m bad at this. But if you think of a great reality show name for yourself, add it to the list by leaving it in the comments section! And don’t miss For The Love of Ray J on Monday nights at…just kidding!

A few days ago, I held a door open for someone. I was expecting to hear a “thank you” when they passed through, but instead I heard something so much better.

“You’ve lost weight,” they said.

My eyebrows immediately shot up—a dumbfounded look was plastered across my face. I wouldn’t say I’ve lost weight. But I also wouldn’t say I’ve gained weight. So this comment definitely caught my attention.

“I have?” I asked in disbelief.

“Well, if you haven’t,” they replied, “it must be those jeans.”

And that’s when I officially fell in love with my black skinny jeans. These jeans always garner a lot of comments-- mostly good. Just this past weekend I was wearing them and one of my friends told me that I looked tacky. Thankfully, I knew he was probably just jealous and wishing for a pair of his own (yeah, for some reason I surround myself with guys that judge what I wear, it’s a wonderful thing for my self esteem).

Anyway, these jeans were a great investment: trendy enough to be considered hip, and classic enough to play up my sophisticated style. The fit is fantastic and they’re amazingly comfortable. The best part is that you can snag the exact same pair for under $60 at (wait for it) Gap! That means if you’re not 100% comfortable with the skinny jean trend, you can try a fab pair at pretty little price. I love mine, and might invest in another pair before the season is up!

Click here to check them out for yourself!

I'm easily entertained, there's really no doubt about it. A few days ago I created a very unscientific quiz just for fun-- you know, to supplement the article I wrote about how ladylike I am. Let me reiterate: I created this quiz from my somewhat twisted head. Apparently, there is a population of internet users who scour the web looking for quizzes to take. And they put a lot of stock into the results. I just had to share some of the comments from my online quiz with you-- including how I would respond. I got such a great laugh from these...and I'm guessing these people aren't Pretty and Poor readers.

Comment:
"im a man?
wow, maybe im just cool.
btw you spelt You're wrong
i didn't really like this quiz at all
sorry"

My Response:
"Are you a man? For the most accurate results, check your pants. PS: you spelled SPELT wrong."

Comment:
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! !!!!!
I AM NOT A GUY!!!!!!!! THIS QUIZ SUCKS! i HATE IT, IF YOU SAW ME THE FIRST THING YOU WOULD SAY IS THAT I'M A TOM BOY. I DON'T BELIEVE THIS STUPID QUIZ. IT'S JUNK!!!!!!"

My Response:
"So you're not a GUY, but you'd call yourself a tom BOY? See. This quiz is clearly helping you discover things you never knew about yourself. Deep."

Comment:
"Uh I ain't a girly girl, I've been called a guy 15 times already and I HATE LIL WAYNE!! His voice sounds like crap and I don't even KNOW who Kelen Wellers is, if you want to make quizzes, MAKE THEM ACCURATE!!"

My Response:
"I'm really sorry...that you don't know who Helen Keller is."

I have a lot of fashion pet peeves, which is why I’m creating a new category on Pretty and Poor called “Pretty and Poor Pet Peeves.” Hopefully, this category will provide an outlet for me to vent about fashion flops and help me solve them. Basically, I’m trying to inspire everyone to look their best, always.

One of my fashion pet peeves is when people carry the wrong purse with the wrong outfit to the wrong occasion. This is generally witnessed when ladies dress up. They put on a sleek dress and dazzling diamonds. They might wear sassy kitten heels or mile-high pumps. Their make-up is nearly perfect. And then, to top off the look they carry around a huge satchel full of crap. Sorry, but that’s not acceptable. A sleek, nighttime look calls for a sleek, nighttime purse.

In my world, the perfect nighttime purse for dress-up occasions is the clutch. It’s got chic movie star appeal, plus, something about holding your entire world in your hand is very powerful. All you need to pack in your clutch for a night of entertainment and fun is your ID, a credit card (or two), a bit of cash, a couple tubes of lipstick or gloss and your phone. Nothing else really matters (except maybe a camera—if it fits without making the clutch lose it’s shape).

A lot of my friends, men especially, think the clutch is silly because it doesn’t have a strap or handle. I disagree. Tucked neatly under the arm, it’s anything but a fuss. And the good news? Style guru Tim Gunn agrees with me.

“My advocacy for the clutch has caused some women to balk: ‘But what do I do during a cocktail reception?’ You place the clutch under your upper left arm with a cocktail in your left hand. This leaves your right hand free for greetings.” –Tim Gunn on marieclaire.com

My advice to you? Invest in three clutches—they’ll carry you through your flurry of nighttime activities with grace and elegance for years to come.

1) Black Clutch (black patent leather is a VERY dependable, timeless and style-savvy option)

While this Christian Louboutin clutch may be a little out of your price range, look for similar styling when picking out a standard black clutch. And if you feel like splurging, this may be just the thing (PPW should be fairly low).

2) Gold Clutch (pair this sparkler with bold statement dresses or browns and neutral tones)

This Stuart Weitzman gold mine is narrow, clean and dazzling. A great choice for many nights on the town.

3) Bright Color Clutch (one clutch should be a bright, bold color—think green, turquoise, red or orange—that you can use to jazz up simple or minimalist nighttime looks)

This Alfani clutch from Macy’s is the perfect accent piece in fire engine red. It even has a little handle for those of you looking to get a firm grasp on this trend.

Don't be the girl at the charity gala with the clunky hobo bag, or the lady at the wedding with the suitcase-sized purse. Take hold of your fashion factor by completing your dressy look with an equally dressy clutch.

I think my friends would tell you I’m a classy girl. I’ve even been described as “exceptionally poised.” Those accounts of me aren’t necessarily wrong, I just believe there’s always room for improvement. You see, I recently did a personal audit of how ladylike I am. The results astounded me. Here are some of my most un-ladylike habits revealed.

I listen to rap music. Dirty rap music.
If my mother listened to the lyrics of the music in my car right now, she would think I spent my spare time torturing puppies. It’s not pretty. As a matter of fact, most of it is flat-out degrading. Some of it is derogatory towards women. And a lot of it happens to be sexually explicit. However, there’s something about heavy beats, synthesized sounds and excessive use of the word “bitches” that gets me really jazzed to go into the office in the mornings.

I use foul language.
In professional situations (like luncheons at the Country Club) I keep a clean mouth. In serious situations I talk like a saint. However, turn me loose for a night on the town and get me focused on a topic I’m passionate about and who knows what might come out (that’s what she said). Point made.

I tell dirty jokes.
The best kind are Helen Keller jokes. But I don’t stop there. I’ll do anything to pretend I’m a comedian for a few minutes. I love making people laugh. And I love watching others tell jokes. So if I can get the crowd going with a few funny, highly inappropriate jokes slamming people or diving into highly controversial issues, I’ll put my reputation on the line for a few good laughs.

I drive like a man.
Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Give up? Because she was a woman. Pa-ting. I’m a good driver…usually. I have a few issues. I like going fast. I park wherever I want to park. And if you do something mean to me in traffic I will do something at least 90% meaner back to you. It’s true. A couple years ago an uber-trashy man rolled down his window to call me one of the most insulting words in the English language. I rolled down my window, and like the lady I am, told the gentlemen that he should probably go amputate a certain body part of his…because chances are he’d probably never use that particular body part. Trust me, the language I used makes all the difference. While a lady would probably just scoot to her destination, I always choose to rough it out in the fast lane.

I recently picked up Steve Harvey’s book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man to help me analyze my relationship issues (just kidding, it was conveniently laying on my counter…not really sure who put it there). I stopped when I got to the front cover. Clearly, I had some work to do before turning to page one.

"Act like a lady?" I asked myself. "Only when I have to."

I created a quiz to help you find out how ladylike you are! (Wasn't that nice of me?) I think you'll enjoy it! Click here to take it!

If you’ve seen me lately, you’ve probably wondered why I have several Band-Aids wrapped around my left index finger. No, I’m not trying to start an edgy new trend ala Michael Jackson (as I recall he used to keep some Band-Aids taped around his fingers in the 80’s). I’ve actually been the victim of some seriously stylish knives.

A few weeks ago I was out shopping and I came across knives that represented the very core of who I am. They’re stylish. Sleek. Shiny. Design-savvy. They’re eccentric and beautiful—not your typical kitchen knives. I was afraid that if I passed them up, I'd never find knives as stylish and pretty again. Made by Aero, a French company, these knives were something I needed to purchase to expand my culinary horizons. So I bought them.

I guess you could say they’re expanding my horizons—every time I used them I learn how to doctor wounds better. They’re sharp. Really sharp. And I am one of the least coordinated and graceful people in America. So the combination of me chopping peppers (usually pretending I’m Emeril, Bobby Flay or Paula Deen) with ice-forged steel razors isn’t exactly smart.

I currently have three…yes, t-h-r-e-e cuts in nearly the same location on my left index finger. And they just keep adding up. But you know what? I look damn good chopping onions with my adorable knives.

Interested in a set of these pretty, yet deadly knives? Check them out by clicking here.

First, I’d like to start out by saying that I do NOT have a drinking problem. I just happen to be a very brand loyal person when it comes to certain things. For example, I’m brand loyal when it comes to my vodka brands. As a young lady living in the big city, I enjoy the occasional happy hour and night on the town. I believe that cleverly-crafted cocktails have the ability to bring people closer. Recently, someone asked me why I was a Ketel One fan. “Why not Grey Goose?” They inquired. Well friends, there’s just something about Ketel One that makes my taste buds jump and my heart skip a beat. I don’t get that from Grey Goose or Belvedere. So, to celebrate the vodka of choice (that always seems to show itself on my bar tab weekend after weekend), I’ve decided to list 101 reasons I love Ketel One.

101. It’s clear…kinda’ like the color of a high-quality diamond.

100. It’s a member of my favorite food group: vodka.

99. It makes me feel prettier. Always.

98. “Ketel One” just sounds cool to say.

97. It’s not Smirnoff.

96. It’s not Absolut.

95. It’s also one of Chelsea Handler’s favorites. And since she’s hilarious, it must be the drink of choice for hilarious people.

94. Mixed with white grapefruit juice, it’s a citrus-infused dream come true.

93. It’s alcoholic.

92. Dirty martini, anyone?

91. It spans seasons—it’s cooling in the summer and warming in the winter.

90. It’s magical. When I spill it on my clothing (this happens frequently) it vanishes within minutes.

89. They must put something in it that boosts confidence, really.

88. Funny advertisements that only I (the seasoned Ketel One drinker) understand.

87. I feel like part of an elite gentlemen’s club when I drink it. Like I could discuss foreign policy, share my personal approach to diplomacy or debate the stock market (in great detail).

86. Not too many things can actually help me dance better…but Ketel One always seems to do the trick.

I’m a quitter. So I only listed 15 reasons. But who am I kidding? 101 just sounded cool. If I could actually think of 101 reasons I might actually be a little concerned about myself. So readers beware, the next time you take a seat beside me at the bar and offer to buy me a greyhound, be prepared to say “Ketel One” when the bartender asks for a vodka preference.

What’s your liquor of choice?

I love Halloween. It’s always been one of my favorite holidays. When I was a kid, dressing up was a magical thing to do. I loved the glitter, the glitz and the face paint. The candy was an added bonus, of course (although I still have a special place in my heart for people who hand out full size candy bars). I’m long past my trick-or-treating years, but I still love that Halloween is a time for dressing up! This year I went for the cool and current. I went as Lady Gaga. And even though most people reported that Gaga would be the most overdone costume of the season, I pulled off her look with an edgy sophistication that turned heads all night. I decided to channel one of her looks from MTV’s Video Music Awards. Here's a picture so you can get the full effect.

I loved the avant-garde look. And I really liked the crown. Everyone seemed to know exactly who I was. In fact, people on the street ran up to me to give me hugs. And for a moment, I got an actual glimpse of what it might be like to be the Lady herself!

For more shots, follow me on twitter. Click here!