Last week I had a total self control relapse. Sometimes I go for weeks without buying a thing except for groceries and vodka. To keep from getting bored during these times, I do a few things to keep my life (and my wardrobe) interesting. I reaccessorize my favorite outfits, dig through areas of closet I haven’t seen in months and untangle necklaces I haven’t worn in years. I usually find enough stuff stockpiled in my closet to help me fight the urge to shop—after all, finding things you forget about is almost like buying something new.

But then it hits me like a Mack truck. I get slammed with the urge to shop. And no amount of ice cream, chocolate or attention can fight the fever I start to feel. This happened last week.

I needed a dress for a wedding so I decided to head to Neiman Marcus to find something that no one else would be wearing. I had an itch for something Tory. Tory Burch, that is. But when I arrived at Neiman’s, I was greeted by racks and racks of sale merchandise. It was everywhere. Everything was on sale. Lots of Tory. Lots of goodies. Lots of dresses. I had died and gone to shopping heaven.

So a pathetic and deprived me started grabbing dresses like a fiend. This one. That one. The red one in two sizes—just cause it looked a little small. By the time I finished, I had no fewer than 30 dresses in the fitting room.

Really. Really. Really out of control. I made out with two Diane Von Furstenberg dresses and one Kay Unger dress. But they were on sale, so it was totally okay. Plus, it felt really, really good to treat myself.

And that, my friends, is just how I roll. Had a shopping breakdown lately? Share it in the comments section. After all, people like us have to support each other.

Since my site underwent a makeover, I started thinking about my favorite makeover show, What Not To Wear. It's brilliant. Part of what makes it so fun to watch is the banter between the co-hosts Stacy London and Clinton Kelly. Here's a great quote from Clinton that I completely agree with.

"Sometimes comfort doesn't matter. When a shoe is freakin' fabulous, it may be worth a subsequent day of misery. Soak in Epsom salts and take comfort in the fact that you're better than everyone else."

~Clinton Kelly, who knows that a great pair of shoes (and the looks, compliments and attitude that come with them) can be the best thing in the world. And yeah, it's completely okay to take comfort in the fact that you're better than everyone else.

My friend Jules is a little piece of fabulous. When we roomed together in college, we used to lay in bed for hours watching Sex and the City, eating popcorn and talking about boys. Now that we’re both older career women we do mature, older career women things. Like call each other from our own beds, thousands of miles apart and talk about boys.

Just last year, Jules, who’s a writer at a big-shot fashion magazine, sent me a box from the magazine and an official note on company letterhead that said the most amazing thing any fashionista could imagine.

Dear Emily,

Hello! After reviewing your Facebook profile, we’ve decided to write a 12,000-word feature on Y.O.U! Will you be available for a photo shoot this weekend? Please send your measurements and a list of your favorite designers. Should be great!

Ciao,
Jules

The photo shoot and 12,000-word feature, of course, never happened. But that note is still on the wall in my office. And everyone that visits thinks it’s real and that I’m kind of a big deal at an A-list magazine. And that’s how it should be.

I got to see Jules at a wedding this past weekend and naturally, she had a treat for me. Within three minutes of our reunion she was rummaging through her purse for a special surprise from the beauty closet. When she finally found it, just moments before the bride marched down the aisle, my eyes lit up with excitement. This was better than anything she could have promised.

Jules brought me lip-gloss with a half-naked man on the tube. In fact, if you waved the tube in the sunlight it looked as if the man was going from “dressed” to “undressed” instantly. And, in a bright, glittery pink color, this was just what I needed before a wedding reception.

But wait. The lip-gloss had even more surprises. According to the tube it was packed with pheromones, those subliminal scents that make you irresistible to members of the opposite sex. This was turning out to be a great wedding. And that’s when I started to pile the gloss on.

“So, what do these supposed pheromones actually smell like?” I asked Julie as I swabbed it over my lips.

“I don’t know. Food maybe? Sniff it,” she replied.

We held the gloss up to our lips and wafted in the scent. I was expecting a deep, musky, somewhat smoky smell to hit my nose. Instead, I smelled the familiar, very un-sexy scent of pancakes and syrup.

“It smells like breakfast,” I said, confused.

“Yeah, like maple syrup,” confirmed Julie.

“Oh well, guys like food so this probably reminds them of breakfast…which in some way is really hot,” I rationed. “Clearly, this is gonna’ help me get all the guys.”

So I wore my pancake-smelling lip gloss all night long. And guess what? I met the man of my dreams and now we’re getting married. Psych! I actually just ended up craving IHOP the next morning.

Wanna’ try this man-ipulating lip-gloss for yourself? It’s Urban Decay, and it’s hilariously called Pocket Rocket. Oh, and all the shades are named after men. My shade was Timothy, the weekend prep (so my style). There’s really a shade, errr…. a man, for everyone, including James the emo hipster and Julio the hot dad. And to clear the record, the lip-gloss is actually a Crème Brule scent and flavor. You actually rub the tube to release the male-attracting pheromones. But seriously, what guy wouldn’t go for a stack of pancakes? Click here to learn more and get your very own tube!

Things look different around here. We’ve dropped a few pounds, colored our roots and whitened our teeth. A dab of lip gloss and a coat of self-tanner later, Pretty and Poor is lookin’ pretty damn good.

P&P underwent a little makeover to make your reading experience a bit more beautiful. You’ll notice some great new additions:

1) Awesome dollar sign background. Cha-ching.
2) Amazing new header. So classy.
3) Price-Per-Wear Calculator. I don’t expect you to be able to crunch numbers, especially when you’re caught up in the heat of making a frivolous purchase. Let our calculator break it down for you.
4) About This Site. My not-oh-so-inspiring story with a picture of (gasp!) me.
5) Contact Me. Let’s keep the lines of communication open.

There's nothing like changing up your look! And don't worry, I’ll be adding to the site regularly so that you never get bored! Enjoy.

I just need to be frivolous for a minute. That is, after all, the very foundation of my existence. Here’s what I love right now for summer. If you go shopping this weekend, you may want to make sure some of these must-haves are on your list.

1) Peace Sign Jewelry: You’re probably thinking, “Wow, she did not strike me as a hippie.” I’m not. I love eating animals. Hate riding my bike. And I always wear a bra. See? Definitely not the free-spirited type. This summer, however, I’ve really taken a liking to jewelry with peace signs on it. I’m drawn to it in a weird way. Wooden peace signs? Maybe a little much. Blinged-out, glitzy peace signs? Just my style. It’s my way of encouraging the world to get along and respect the differences of…no, I just like the way it looks. I bought this peace sign necklace from New York and Company several weeks ago and I can't stop wearing it.

2) Bright Lip Color: Winter is drabby enough. For summer, I’m all about piling on the bronzer and glowing. The best way to glow right now is to invest in a great, new lip color that adds oomph to your pout. Pair it with a high-intensity gloss that shines and glistens and you’ll have your make-up look set for the rest of the season. I just picked up this color, called Sunset, by Mary Kay (yes, I love Mary Kay cosmetics...guess it's the southern girl peeking out) and it’s the shade I’m wearing with everything right now!

3) White Shorts: Summer is nearly half over. If you don’t have white shorts, what are you waiting for? Now is the perfect time to snag a pair on sale! Nothing says warm weather like crisp, clean white shorts. Pair with a black top and wedges for a night out or a casual button-down and flip-flops for a day of doing errands. The ultimate summer bottom to mix and match. These shorts from Banana Republic are preppy, classic and not too skanky.

It’s time for me to wrap up all the talk about my travels and get back to more important topics on Pretty and Poor…like shoes. But before I finish talking about West Virginia completely I wanted to share with you some more amazing highlights (that don’t involve mullets).

Part of my trip was spent at my Grandparent’s place on the New River. The New River is one of the oldest rivers in the world. In fact, historians aren’t really sure which came first: the New River or the Nile. Rightly so. The whole place has a prehistoric, land-before-time feel. I took this opportunity in the vast wilderness of West Virginia to do some exploring on my terms: in my Tory Burch flip flops. I’m sure if Tory were to see the stress I put these pretty little shoes through, she’d flip. But hey, fashion is all about what you make it right?

And yes, I'm aware that I'm very in need of a pedicure. They don't have too many nail salons in West Virginia. So to create the illusion of nicely polished toes, my solution was to pile on coat upon coat of OPI Red.

Romping around the woods in my designer flip flops and polo dress made me feel like a little kid again (a very prissy little kid). And the scenery around me was like something from an enchanted fairy tale...at any moment I was just waiting for a princess castle to pop onto the scene. Perhaps this was one of the most breathtaking views from the river.

Being surrounded by nature reminded me how much fashion can be inspired by things in the natural world. But don't worry, I haven't started shopping at Patagonia on a regular basis.

Upon getting back from vacation I got tonsillitis. No bueno. After a week of doing nothing but sleeping and eating popsicles, I'm back in the game and ready to share some highlights from my vacation.

This probably doesn't come as a shock to you, but my trip to West Virginia contained no shopping...unless you count the trip I made to the IGA for my Grandma to pick up noodles and orange juice. My trip did, however, contain one of the biggest fashion faux pas known to the world: the mullet. Within 24 hours of leaving home I got to see a real, live mullet at a Sonic in Kentucky.

This woman obviously thinks that her neatly tailored business-in-the-front, party-in-the-back look is the ultimate style statement. I just hope she didn't see me snickering and snapping photos through the tinted windows.

About 10 miles down the road, I found out why people who ride motorcycles wear leather. I guess I just always thought it was a part of a culture-- a style statement for bikers. I actually found out that bikers wear leather for a much more functional reason. Leather is fitted. Riding a motorcycle in basketball shorts exposes a little thing I like to call man-thigh. I didn't even try to hide my humility from this road warrior. I rolled my window down and proudly took a picture.

There's a reason guys shorts are made a little longer. Perhaps our homeboy, pictured above, should invest in some studly leather pants.

Just when I thought my vacation would be filled with mullets and man-thigh, my Dad pointed out a landmark that really caught my attention. The words "billion dollar" were music to my ears. The billion dollar coal field, in Williamson, West Virginia used to be a notorious location at the center of coal transport. At any given time, a billion (that's right, a BILLION) dollars worth of coal could be found in the trains within the field. I started thinking about this and came to an alarming conclusion. You see, coal is pretty much the same thing as diamonds (you know, add some pressure, get a diamond). So, the billion dollar coal field is essentially the biggest bucket of diamonds in the United States.

The World's biggest bucket of diamonds. Who would have thought I'd get to see this on vacation to West Virginia?