I’m glad I never got into ponchos. I think they’re ugly and shapeless. They do absolutely nothing to flatter the figure—unless of course you think that looking like a tent is flattering. Yesterday, I saw someone make a sad attempt to bring back the poncho trend and I wanted to go give this woman $40.00 to buy a new shirt. It was that bad.

Fashions come and fashions go, but just because something is stylish or trendy doesn’t mean it should be embraced. Fashion designers are people, too. They make mistakes. Whoever sat around in a design studio and thought, “Hey, it would be a great idea to make stylish ponchos,” was obviously an idiot, but we’ll cut them some slack: after all, they put their pants on like everybody else.

So please, I beg you, avoid this fashion faux pas. If you have a poncho hanging in your closet throw it away. Burn it. Make it into a baby blanket. But never, ever, put it over your head and attempt to pass it as a shirt again.

I like fairy tales. Here’s why. Reality really isn’t that fun. It’s actually really unfortunate sometimes. You could watch the news and hear about things like bombings, genocide and financial crises, or you could surround yourself with ongoing beacons of false hope where everyone is fabulously wealthy and winds up living happily ever after. I prefer the latter. That’s because reality is all too unkind sometimes.

So when I watch movies (especially love stories) I prefer them to be littered with lies and uncommon happenings. Magic. Fireworks. Miracles. The stuff that fairy tales are made of. Not the stuff that all-to closely depicts the horrors of everyday life. If you live through that stuff every day, then why on earth would you want to pay to watch it? Here are three movies that are on my permanent “Do Not Watch” list. I’ve seen them once, and that’s enough.

My Best Friends Wedding: What’s to like about this movie (besides the scene when Cameron Diaz does karaoke)? I remember watching this for the first time in college, I bawled. Bawled. There’s awkward tension the entire time. Julia Roberts’ character doesn’t get the guy. And at the end of the movie you think she’s happy, but really, she’s just numb and trying to hold it together because she’s a classy broad (can’t relate to that. Oh wait…).

And I’d like to think that there’s a sequel to this movie called “My Best Friend’s Divorce” where D-Bag McGee realizes (in his late 40’s, of course) that he isn’t happy and he and his much-younger wife have grown apart. Then one day he wakes up and realizes that Julia Roberts’ character was right all along. But it’s too late. Her character lives on an island in Dubai with the love of her life. Serves him right.

500 Days Of Summer: This movie was not at all what I expected. And at the end of the movie, I wanted to slap Summer into a different universe. Maybe that’s because I am Summer (which my friends so kindly pointed out). We have a lot in common. But that doesn’t mean I think she’s a good person. Anyway, I don’t like the ending one bit. This sort of thing happens every day: boy meets girl, boy falls head over heels while the girl is wishy-washy, you don’t know what’s going on then BAM! one day somebody shows up engaged. Then heartache ensues, someone wonders what “could have been.” Yuck. I’m over it. I’d rather spend the rest of my life alone, surrounded by shoes and cats than have to sit through another showing of this movie—probably because I’ve lived this movie. So why on Earth would I need to watch it set to the scene of emo music? Just makes it all the more depressing.

The Break Up: Worst movie ever. Sure, people break up…I get it. But if I wanted to watch two hours of non-stop arguing and awkwardness I’d flashback to a former relationship. I’ve always loved Vince Vaughn, but this painted him in an all-to-realistic light. I’ll stick to Wedding Crashers (the movie where two best friend fall in love with two hot sisters who just so happen to be daughters of the Finance Secretary and they all spend the weekend in their plantation home on the Chesapeake).

So yes, I do think glass slippers exist. And I’m going to keep holding out for my bucket of diamonds. And while I’m waiting on that bucket to arrive, I’ll watch movies like Sex and the City, Something’s Gotta’ Give and Grumpier Old Men (where even a crotchety old man can snag the hotness that is Sophia Loren). I might live in a fairy tale, but I guarantee it’s a lot more fun on this side.

I might offend a lot of readers by saying this, but I do not like Uggs. I am not a fan. And I definitely don’t support the fashion faux pas of wearing them with just about everything. Sure, they might be great for a ski trip or a lazy Sunday afternoon in January. But Uggs have crossed the line too many times to be considered fashionable in my book. For some reason unbeknownst to me, someone somewhere decided that it was okay to wear shearling boots with everything…and that became fashionably acceptable. It’s not okay. And if you’re wearing Uggs with an outfit you shouldn’t be, I’m going to judge you.

A few nights ago I was watching Project Runway, and when Althea stepped out onto the runway from inside the tent at Bryant Park I gasped in horror. There, a self-proclaimed fashion expert was wearing a sassy, flowing top with pants and (you guessed it) Uggs. Wouldn’t a pair of fierce, black, suede over-the-knee boots have been much more hip and fashion-forward for an up-and-coming designer? Just saying.

I have lots of supporting evidence in my case against Uggs. For starters, Uggs don’t give your feet any shape. Instead, they give you teddy bear feet. As a result, your legs look like teddy bear legs: short and stumpy. Shoes or boots that actually have a sleek, tapered line will give the illusion of more slender legs.

On another note, Sherpa doesn’t go with everything. You don’t wear your brown shoes with every outfit. You don’t wear your black shoes with every outfit. Then why is it acceptable to wear your Uggs with everything under the sun? Oh wait, it’s not.

If you don’t consider yourself fashionable, then disregard this message. However, if you consider yourself stylish, heed my advice: Uggs are called “Uggs” for a reason. When worn with all your outfits, they’re just plain uggly.

By the way, not all styles of Uggs are wrong. In fact, Ugg makes many styles that are fashion-forward and practical for outdoor wear. It's just those worn-into-the-ground classic tan Uggs that ruin it for everyone.

I have a lot of fashion pet peeves, which is why I’m creating a new category on Pretty and Poor called “Pretty and Poor Pet Peeves.” Hopefully, this category will provide an outlet for me to vent about fashion flops and help me solve them. Basically, I’m trying to inspire everyone to look their best, always.

One of my fashion pet peeves is when people carry the wrong purse with the wrong outfit to the wrong occasion. This is generally witnessed when ladies dress up. They put on a sleek dress and dazzling diamonds. They might wear sassy kitten heels or mile-high pumps. Their make-up is nearly perfect. And then, to top off the look they carry around a huge satchel full of crap. Sorry, but that’s not acceptable. A sleek, nighttime look calls for a sleek, nighttime purse.

In my world, the perfect nighttime purse for dress-up occasions is the clutch. It’s got chic movie star appeal, plus, something about holding your entire world in your hand is very powerful. All you need to pack in your clutch for a night of entertainment and fun is your ID, a credit card (or two), a bit of cash, a couple tubes of lipstick or gloss and your phone. Nothing else really matters (except maybe a camera—if it fits without making the clutch lose it’s shape).

A lot of my friends, men especially, think the clutch is silly because it doesn’t have a strap or handle. I disagree. Tucked neatly under the arm, it’s anything but a fuss. And the good news? Style guru Tim Gunn agrees with me.

“My advocacy for the clutch has caused some women to balk: ‘But what do I do during a cocktail reception?’ You place the clutch under your upper left arm with a cocktail in your left hand. This leaves your right hand free for greetings.” –Tim Gunn on marieclaire.com

My advice to you? Invest in three clutches—they’ll carry you through your flurry of nighttime activities with grace and elegance for years to come.

1) Black Clutch (black patent leather is a VERY dependable, timeless and style-savvy option)

While this Christian Louboutin clutch may be a little out of your price range, look for similar styling when picking out a standard black clutch. And if you feel like splurging, this may be just the thing (PPW should be fairly low).

2) Gold Clutch (pair this sparkler with bold statement dresses or browns and neutral tones)

This Stuart Weitzman gold mine is narrow, clean and dazzling. A great choice for many nights on the town.

3) Bright Color Clutch (one clutch should be a bright, bold color—think green, turquoise, red or orange—that you can use to jazz up simple or minimalist nighttime looks)

This Alfani clutch from Macy’s is the perfect accent piece in fire engine red. It even has a little handle for those of you looking to get a firm grasp on this trend.

Don't be the girl at the charity gala with the clunky hobo bag, or the lady at the wedding with the suitcase-sized purse. Take hold of your fashion factor by completing your dressy look with an equally dressy clutch.