Do you ever see anyone in public who causes a noticeably adverse reaction from most people they pass? For some bizarre reason, I’ve been coming across a lot of these folks lately. They make my jaw drop and my eyebrows lift. And usually, they leave me (someone who always has the right thing to say) absolutely lost for words. These people are trashy. And if you don’t want to look like them, I’d suggest you read up—knowledge is power in the fight against trashiness.

Here are several things that make the average girl look instantly trashier.

Naval Rings. Sure, belly button rings were really cool in 2001. But dare to show that sucker off now and you’ll be committing fashion suicide. Mid-riff tops with belly-baring properties are not stylish. Nor is your oversized, rhinestone, butterfly hanging belly button body art.

Hickeys. Go ahead, let your nasty boyfriend suck on your neck for 15 minutes. I know the Twilight trend is kinda' big right now, but vampires are not that great. And purple does not go with everything. Plus, turtlenecks are only in season a few months out of the year. In short, no one wants to see what you really did last night. Thanks. (There is nothing worse than seeing a girl ringing me up at a store with giant, purple marks all over her neck. Seriously. Does her boyfriend need an instruction manual?)

Pleather. Some fake leathers really aren’t half bad in today’s age (thanks to a rise in eco-consciousness and veganism). Then there’s the other 90% of pleathers. Careful, careful! If you’re wearing anything that resembles a tailored tarp, take it off (and maybe even consider using it as one).

Booty Shorts. Show a little cheek. And maybe even some chuncky, pale thigh. Everyone will gawk in horror and think, “Wow. That looks so uncomfortable.” And as you strut off into the distance, mothers will cover the eyes of their children and the song “Hoochie Momma” will start to crescendo all over the universe.

Hair Gel. A sure way to de-class your look is to put copious amounts of gel in your hair. Use it to give a playful ponytail the greasy, glazed look. Or, spread it through your perfectly bouncy curls to weigh them down and crunch them up. If you’re lucky, people will actually mistake this for grease in your hair. But only if you’re lucky. (Seriously, people. Have you never seen a Pantene commercial? Hair should be loose. Flowy. Shiny. Bouncy.)

Lots o’ Liner. I love dramatic make-up as much as the next girl. But there is a limit. And there is such a thing as too much. Too much lip liner will make you look like a clown. And too much eyeliner will actually make your eyes look beady and small. Too much of both liners on the same face? Hope you don’t get mistaken for Marilyn Manson circa 2000. When in doubt, stick to the basics and remember that sometimes, less is more.

Muffin top. If someone tells you that you resemble a muffin, they don’t mean you look sweet. They mean that your muffin cup is a little tight for the surprise that’s popping out of it. There’s an easy solution to this problem: get pants that fit. Nothing says “I’m a train wreck” more than trying to squeeze into the clothes you sported at age 17. And no, muffin top doesn’t mean you’re chubby. It just means your clothes don’t fit. Ill fitting clothes are never classy. For more information on muffin top, check out the Wikipedia entry about it.

Find yourself committing one (or more) of the above fashion sins and you, my friend, might just become trashier than the cast of Jersey Shore in my book.

What do you think? What screams "trashy" to you? What's the trashiest look you've seen lately? Leave your thoughts in the comments section!

Today's guest blog post is from a lovely young lady who apparently just can't stop writing for me. During my senior year of college, I was the Editor-In-Chief for a little niche publication on the University of Missouri's campus. The paper highlighted Greek life and all the happenings of sorority and fraternity days. Claire, today's guest blogger, was on my staff. It should be noted that her stories involved virtually little to no editing. And they were always in on time. Now chasing a career in magazine journalism, Claire finds herself living life in New York City-- an experience that has helped her hone her writing skills and her ability to judge. In today's post, Claire points out that sometimes a pair of supposedly stylish jorts can be much more of a joke.

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It's hot and humid here in New York and there's no better time for airy dresses, bare arms and light, breathable fabrics. This weather also signals that touchy time of year when women must decide just what to put on their legs. Some choose skirts -- mini, flowing, patterned or plain -- while others opt for the all too slippery slope of shorts.

Sure, shorts are the practical option. Who wants to worry about flashing your lady parts on the subway? But when they don't fit perfectly (which is all too often the case) they're dangerously unflattering. The most offensive culprit? Denim shorts.

These jean mini-pants range from knee-length to non-existent, and come in an array of washes and rippage. Rippage? See photo. Yes, someone out there is paid to rip holes in your jeans just so you can pull off the Olsen twins' trademarked look: sloppy chic.

I digress.

New Yorkers have embraced the jean short spectrum, but what are most disturbing are the shorts' hideous half-sister: the high-waisted jean shorts. These are the thorns of the fashion world and should go the way of their cousin, acid washed denim. To anyone considering a high-waisted purchase, please reconsider.

In fact, the lines created by these pants (think: a deep V outlining your pelvic region in front and nearly the same image in back) are so distracting that I often find myself openly gawking. More plainly, there is absolutely NO body that can make this fashion tragedy work. And I've done the leg work (Ha! Punny!). Living across from Union Square means I'm privy to a catwalk of all sorts of hipsters, model wannabes, and the fashionably adventurous-- which is fine. But this also means that I see about 20 offending pairs of jorts a day traipsing about the streets, forcing everyone's eyes to the fact that their inseam is measured in millimeters.

So, when choosing a pair of shorts, try for something with an inseam of at least three inches and in a dark wash. And leave the high-waisted version in the closet, or better yet, the trash can.

Want to read more about Claire's life? Check out her blog here.

I’m glad I never got into ponchos. I think they’re ugly and shapeless. They do absolutely nothing to flatter the figure—unless of course you think that looking like a tent is flattering. Yesterday, I saw someone make a sad attempt to bring back the poncho trend and I wanted to go give this woman $40.00 to buy a new shirt. It was that bad.

Fashions come and fashions go, but just because something is stylish or trendy doesn’t mean it should be embraced. Fashion designers are people, too. They make mistakes. Whoever sat around in a design studio and thought, “Hey, it would be a great idea to make stylish ponchos,” was obviously an idiot, but we’ll cut them some slack: after all, they put their pants on like everybody else.

So please, I beg you, avoid this fashion faux pas. If you have a poncho hanging in your closet throw it away. Burn it. Make it into a baby blanket. But never, ever, put it over your head and attempt to pass it as a shirt again.

I often blog about huge fashion mistakes I see out in the world. But I have a list of things that really get under my skin on a continual basis. If you’re guilty of any of these offenses, I suggest you think long and hard about your behavior…then go shopping for the right fashion fix.

1. Visible Panty Line (VPL)
If your underwear is showing through your pants, if they seem to make a rift in your butt cheeks, then, my friend, it’s time for some new panties that actually fit. Or, you could buy a more suitable style for the outfit you’re wearing. Don’t wear chunky, cotton underwear with dress pants. Don’t wear a super-tight thong with a tight dress. Wear the appropriate undergarments for every outfit and occasion. And if you don’t, I’ll judge you.

(Nothing is more attractive that a pair of granny panties that you can actually see through khakis.)

2. Muffin Top
If you have muffin top, chances are your clothes don’t fit. Here’s an idea: buy some that do. The best way for any woman to draw attention to her weight (be she big or small) is to wear clothing that doesn’t fit her correctly. Invest in clothing that fits your unique body properly instead of getting caught up on wearing a particular size. If you’re trying to look slimmer, smaller clothes will only do the opposite. There’s really nothing more unflattering than muffin top.

(No. No. No. No. No. Why are you doing this to yourself? Does that extra pudge feel good catching a breeze?)

3. Drawn-on Eyebrows
Your eyebrows help frame your face. They look weird when they’re not there...or when they’re constantly affixed in a surprised state…or when you’ve drawn them on with a pencil that looks a little wobbly and doesn’t quite match up to your hair color. Instead of plucking, see a trained aesthetician to help you find the right shape and thickness for you—there’s a real art to getting the right brows.

(I guess if you wanted too look like you were saying "EEEEK!" all the time this could be a good look for you.)

4. Fake Stuff Galore
Think of how mad you’d be if you came up with a million dollar idea only to have someone copy the idea and produce it with cheaper, uglier materials at half the price. Now you know how all your friends at Coach, Burberry, Louis Vuitton and Prada feel. Enough with the fake purses already, ladies—everyone you’re trying to impress knows they aren’t real. I can sniff out a fake from a mile away. Plus, at the end of the day, there’s been oodles of investigations done on the production of counterfeit goods that conclude they’re produced in sweat-shop conditions and that the profits fund unethical behavior like drug and human trafficking. Be classy. Save your money and buy the real deal. One well-tailored designer piece will look better than 100 badly, constructed, fake leather “Prada” purses.

(This purse is clearly not a Coach bag. If you think so, then you don't deserve to carry a Coach bag.)

5. Bad Jeans
Every time someone asks me to help them revamp their closet and wardrobe, I start with jeans. That’s because jeans can be dressy, they can be casual and they can be work appropriate. News flash: they can also be just plain ugly. There are still throngs of hideous jeans ruining the bodies of women that could otherwise look very presentable. Find the right fit of jeans for you—ditch the high waist and lose the tapered leg. You’ll look and feel much better.

(It doesn't have to be this way. Underneath those jeans there's actually a decent figure waiting to be found.)

6. Midriff Baring Tops
Whenever I see someone wearing a belly-baring top and I’m not at Yoga or celebrating Halloween I get a little uneasy. I don’t care if you have rock hard abs of steel, midriff baring tops make people uncomfortable. Showing that much skin is just wrong.

(Part time job at the strip club? With a shirt like this, I'm a shoe in!)

I might offend a lot of readers by saying this, but I do not like Uggs. I am not a fan. And I definitely don’t support the fashion faux pas of wearing them with just about everything. Sure, they might be great for a ski trip or a lazy Sunday afternoon in January. But Uggs have crossed the line too many times to be considered fashionable in my book. For some reason unbeknownst to me, someone somewhere decided that it was okay to wear shearling boots with everything…and that became fashionably acceptable. It’s not okay. And if you’re wearing Uggs with an outfit you shouldn’t be, I’m going to judge you.

A few nights ago I was watching Project Runway, and when Althea stepped out onto the runway from inside the tent at Bryant Park I gasped in horror. There, a self-proclaimed fashion expert was wearing a sassy, flowing top with pants and (you guessed it) Uggs. Wouldn’t a pair of fierce, black, suede over-the-knee boots have been much more hip and fashion-forward for an up-and-coming designer? Just saying.

I have lots of supporting evidence in my case against Uggs. For starters, Uggs don’t give your feet any shape. Instead, they give you teddy bear feet. As a result, your legs look like teddy bear legs: short and stumpy. Shoes or boots that actually have a sleek, tapered line will give the illusion of more slender legs.

On another note, Sherpa doesn’t go with everything. You don’t wear your brown shoes with every outfit. You don’t wear your black shoes with every outfit. Then why is it acceptable to wear your Uggs with everything under the sun? Oh wait, it’s not.

If you don’t consider yourself fashionable, then disregard this message. However, if you consider yourself stylish, heed my advice: Uggs are called “Uggs” for a reason. When worn with all your outfits, they’re just plain uggly.

By the way, not all styles of Uggs are wrong. In fact, Ugg makes many styles that are fashion-forward and practical for outdoor wear. It's just those worn-into-the-ground classic tan Uggs that ruin it for everyone.

I’m big on customer service. I like being pampered. And call me crazy, but I believe that if you’re giving someone your hard earned money you should at least get a little bit of respect.

Last night I had every intention of stimulating the economy. I stopped by Bloomingdale's on my way to meet friends for dinner. I went inside to pay my bill. I like to actually go to the store because it gives me an excuse to look around and see new products. Sure, I could mail my bill or pay it online. But where’s the fun in that?

I stopped in the jewelry department and stumbled across three pairs of earrings that I couldn’t live without. The best part? They were all on sale. Half off.

I grabbed my purchases and headed to the jewelry counter…only to be completely ignored. I patiently waited, got my wallet out and looked around at the Michael Kors watches (all very cute if I must say so) for several moments. There was a lady behind the counter standing roughly two feet away from me. She refused to make eye contact with me and she began helping another lady. A lady with a sweater-wearing Yorkie. Not only did she have her puppy with her, she was also accompanied by her 12-year old skank. Let’s just make this very clear: if I ever have a 12-year old daughter she will never have two-inch long acrylic fingernails that are painted blue. As a mother, that’s where I would draw the line.

This super-classy lady and her entourage were pretending to be interested in the Betsy Johnson jewelry. They were making the sales lady drape necklaces around mannequins, match up bracelets with earrings and try on different combinations. I bet they didn’t even buy anything…

But I didn’t stick around long enough to find out. After 12 minutes (that's right, 12 minutes) of huffing, puffing, smiling obnoxiously and tapping my finger I decided I wasn’t willing to pay quite THAT price for fashionable earrings. Instead, I’d go to Nordstrom, pay double, and at least be acknowledged.

The sales woman could have said, “Just one moment, I’ll be right with you.” She could have told Skanks and Co., “I’m sorry, I’m just going to ring this lady up and then I’ll help you.” But she didn’t. She didn’t even try to make the situation okay. So I stomped off to a register in the men’s department where a sales lady told me, “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to help you right now.” It was not my day.

So maybe that's what's wrong with our economy. Maybe a lack of professional service is making purchases harder than anyone ever thought possible. My solution? Just put a self-checkout in Bloomies. Seriously, I tried to buy something and I physically couldn't. It's mind blowing.

And I hope that Skanky Skankerson and her daughter are at home right now rolling in their buckets of Betsy Johnson jewelry.

I think accessories may change the face of the liquor industry. Think about it, what female could pass up a vodka tonic with a bangle bracelet? A rum and diet with earrings? A HEADBAND WITH A FREE DRINK? The possibilities are endless—and very enticing.

This weekend I celebrated my best friend’s bachelorette party! It was a blast. We went to a hip, happening restaurant in Minneapolis called Chino Latino. The restaurant is known for their racy brand, hilarious menu, eccentric space and eclectic dishes. My friends and I noticed that many people in the restaurant were wearing ninja headbands. This struck us as odd, but we wrote it off as a private celebration. As more and more people started to show up wearing the headbands, we asked our waitress about them. It turns out, the headbands actually came with a drink called “The Chino Bomber.”

“The Chino Bomber” is a shot—Chino Latino’s very own, special version of the sake bomb. At $10 a shot, they don’t come cheap. So what would entice someone to splurge on a “Chino Bomber?” Elementary, my dear reader, A COMPLIMENTARY HEADBAND.

Well, at least this was enough to push us over the edge. Our table ended up with a round of “Chino Bombers.” And the night, as they say, was history. The amazing thing is, however, I rationalized our purchase by thinking that I bought a headband and got a free drink. Duh.

This strategy could potentially work for a whole host of things—you know, a ploy to lure people into your marketing trap. Buy a sweater, get a free oil change. Buy a handbag, get a handy set of tools. But then again, the strategy loses its luster when it’s not anything awesome like a samurai headband coupled with, you guessed it, a free shot.

I’m a master of having fun. If I were marooned on a desert island I could entertain myself for days, maybe even months. Sometimes, daily life feels like being marooned on a desert island, so I have to take drastic measures…you know, make my own fun. That’s why I invented Catwalk Wednesdays.

Wednesdays are boring. It’s the middle of the week—you’re two days into the week but have two days to go until the weekend reigns supreme. You’re finally over your bad case of the Mondays but you’re still unable to see that light at the end of the tunnel: Friday. Plus, one of the most amazing shows ever created, Project Runway, airs on Wednesday nights. Catwalk Wednesday is, essentially, an ode to Project Runway and a celebration of sassiness. Plus, it’s the perfect compliment to Techno Tuesdays (more on that later).

Have you ever really taken a good look at Heidi Klum’s legs when she struts across the screen during the opening on Project Runway? It’s pretty inspiring. So inspiring that it makes me want to perfect my catwalk. My coworkers, also Project Runway fans, share the desire for a perfect catwalk. On Wednesday afternoons we fire up some snappy tunes and work on our strides. Lift the legs. Shoulders pushed back. Pelvis thrust out. Edgy facial expressions. It’s all about attitude.

We critique each other, laugh and then go about our day. It seems lame, but trust me, it’s fun. And for about five minutes every Wednesday afternoon we all feel like maybe, just maybe, Seal could be our baby daddy, too.